Feeling Sorry for Myself
I'm in a bad mood. I don't think I can blame it on hormones. Probably not even the operation.
First, my husband is sick. I know, I should be wonderful and supportive because he's not feeling well and he took such good care of me in the early weeks of my recovery. But it pisses me off. We've not been intimate for weeks and we haven't had sex since the surgery of course. I've been "cleared" for over a week now, but he's been out of town and now has the flu or something.
I've got stuff to take care of around the house. My neighbor has been bothering me to remove a tree that hangs over her roof, so I'm trying to get quotes on that (why don't people come to quote a job when they say they will?). Insurance woes ... I've been double billed for some stuff, other things have been refused by my insurance company so I'm trying to make calls. But it seems that some of these call centers are in the east or just close early.
I'm fighting with a friend of mine. It's not so much that I'm angry with him, I'm guessing. I'm angry at all those other friends who haven't been there for me, but I feel weird just calling them and telling them that, so I take it out on the people who do call me or email me.
I feel abandoned. Where were my friends when I was recovering? I had one friend that visited me regularly. I had two friends who never called, ever, at all in the past two months. I have two friends who never showed up to help me when my husband went out of town (to help me take out the garbage cans to the street on garbage night, walk the dog, do grocery shopping).
I'm still not up to snuff, maybe I shouldn't have gone back to work last week, but going to the office and then coming home and taking care of my husband is just a little too much for me right now. I'll get through it of course, there are plenty of people in the world that have it far worse than I do, I recognize that. So I'll muddle through and probably just whine a bit here.
Posted by Elizabeth M. on September 30, 2004 04:43 PM
