September 2, 2004

Getting around on my own

Well, today marks four weeks to the day from my procedure.

I'm officially released to have all the orgasms I want.

Well, I didn't wait for the official word. I wanted to know much sooner. That doesn't mean that I won't continue to check things out.

In other news that is perhaps related to that, my husband is leaving tomorrow for a ten day trip overseas, so I'll be all alone for a while. I'm not too concerned. I can drive now and do light shopping. I have lots of bottled water in the house and already stocked up on dog food - you know, the heavy things are taken care of.

Of course I'll miss him. I'm so lucky that we were able to schedule the procedure so that he was here for the most important part of the recovery. He'll be back in time for my next checkup, and I'm feeling good enough that I'll request to be cleared to go back to work, if only part time until the eight week mark.

The back is still bothering me, but I'm feeling fine otherwise. I did a little gardening last night after it cooled off. We planted some herbs in the back yard. I really wanted to replant some of my pots that used to sit by the back door, but the nursery didn't have anything I really wanted. September isn't exactly the time to be going to the nursery for plants like that.

It's hot now in Los Angeles, and I know it's going to be a struggle to keep cool for the next week or so. I don't feel like going out to air conditioned placed because I get tired so quick. So I'll have to make do somehow in the house. Or find some air-conditioned friends.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 11:03 PM

September 4, 2004

Long Walk

My husband has gone out of town for nine days.

My dear neighbors came by to check up on me (I'd been alone for four hours!) and suggested we take a walk.

So I leashed up the dog and we went on a walk, down the hill, around to the main drag by our house and then, because I live in the hills, we tackled the "stairs" which the city built for pedestrians instead of going up the windy hill, you can take five flights of concrete stairs.

I took them two at a time! And though I was winded at the top, I was always winded at the top of the stairs.

I feel pretty good today. I've got a little muscle tug over on my left lower ab, but that's been there for a couple of days. I'm also a little worried because I sometimes get a slight pain when I void my bladder. I don't know if it's an indication of a UTI or just something normal. So, because it's the weekend, I've started taking megadoses of cranberry extract and I'm trying to up my fluid intake.

It's so hard to differentiate between what a normal little pain that comes with healing and what indicates a problem. I have a very high tolerance for pain, so sometimes I worry that I ignore signs that mean something.

I'm going to go visit at another neighbor who also works in my office later today. She'll fill me in on all the poop that I've been missing with the political stuff going on at our company (it merged with another company a week after my surgery so I've been a little worried about my job).

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 1:10 PM

September 7, 2004

It's Hot

I've really nothing to report other than it's hot.

Today I went to the grocery store. I bought healthy things. I bought fruit and for some reason took great joy in measuring out 1.4 pounds of each item (because that's how much the fibroids weighed!). Two grapefruits, two mangoes, a small cantaloupe and four apples. I also got some frozen strawberry juice bars because I ran out of frozen bananas. Some yogurt. The only moderately bad thing I bought was a bag of corn chips and some fresh salsa. But hey, salsa is just tomatoes, and they're chocked full of antioxidants and vitamin C.

I've been playing with the phone wire too. I made a dreadfully ugly necklace. And a couple of cute chokers a few days ago.

I watched TV.

I had been having some pains in my abdomen, kind of in a line from the corner of the top of my pelvis to the top of my pubic bone. More on the left side than the right. But I've been very good about not doing anything for the past few days and I didn't take anything for the pain and it seems to have subsided.

I'm bored. I want to go back to work, but I know I don't have the strength for it. I certainly would have to go out and buy some other clothes too.

I think I've got PMS, which I will now call Post Ovulation Syndrome, since I can't menstruate. My breasts are sore and I'm carrying around at least five pounds of water in my belly and breasts. I've been drinking huge amounts of water, I think at least three quarts a day, probably more. I also started taking cranberry supplements again, to try to reduce this water weight and I was worried I had a UTI, but I don't have any symptoms except for a little bladder pain when I am very full.

My husband took the camera on his business trip with him. Maybe tomorrow I'll post all the other photos that I took to bring you up to date. There's very little reason to take photos every day now, nothing changes. The scar is still a dark purple line with small ridge of swelling at the top of it. It doesn't hurt much except when I sneeze or cough or the dog jumps up.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 9:51 PM

September 9, 2004

Big Trip

Today I'm off on my first long-distance adventure.

My neighbor is taking the day off of work and wants to check out a furniture store down south from here in Costa Mesa.

She wanted some company and advice so we're heading out in a little bit. It's an hour drive. The mall there is huge, though I've never been to this furniture store, but I think it's in one of those satellites of the big mall.

Yesterday was more humid than hot, but I think I'm doing okay.

I've been hungry, but I think it's boredom. I'm trying to eat healthy things when I snack. Fruit, baby carrots, I had a few corn chips yesterday. For a real treat I also had a little chocolate and some crystallized ginger.

I have a little itching on the outside of my vagina. I don't know if this indicates an infection or if my body is just adjusting to the changes. By my records I should have my period, so maybe my body was expecting a pH change in my vagina. Or it could be that it's so unbearably hot that things are just irritated because of that. There's no discharge or odor so I'm not thinking it's an infection, just an irritation. (Also, I've had a few serious bouts of diarrhea as well, which can sometimes just irritate everything down there for a few days.)

I'm watching more TV but it seems that my sudden interest in watching TV is matched by the sudden nothingness to watch. I wish the fall season had started already. I have a friend who's been threatening to loan me the DVDs of The Office, so maybe I'll have to bug him about that.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 9:40 AM

A Case for Keeping Ovaries

I've been hanging out over at HysterSisters and have been noticing a trend - women asking for advice about whether or not to keep their ovaries. Without a strong indication for them to be removed (existing ovarian cancer or strong genetic link, endometriosis, persistent cysts) I'd like to advocate keeping them. And instead of my opinion, I did some research to make a realistic, fact-based case.

First of all, ovarian cancer is not common. In fact, as female cancers go, it's downright rare. And when it is found, the women are most likely over the age of seventy. Yes, it is called the most deadly women's cancer, but that is largely because the pap test now catches early cervical cancer and regular mammograms and breast exams have been catching breast cancer sooner.

In 1994, there were an estimated 24,000 new cases and 13,600 deaths from ovarian cancer in the United States (Boring et al., 1994). Since 1973, incidence has increased slightly while mortality has declined. The 1987-91 age-adjusted incidence was 14.8 cases per 100,000 women; the incidence increases with age until age 75 when rates decline (Ries et al., 1994). Five years after a diagnosis of ovarian cancer, survival is approximately 42 percent (Ries et al., 1994). link

So Who Is Most Likely to Develop Ovarian Cancer?

* Have 2 or more relatives who have had ovarian cancer

* Have a family history of multiple cancers: ovarian, breast or colon cancer
* Were diagnosed with breast cancer under the age of 50
* Have a personal history of multiple exposures to fertility drugs
* Are of Ashkenazi Jewish decent
* Have had uninterrupted ovulation (never used birth control pills, or no pregnancies)
* Have the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation
* Are over the age of 50
link

On the other hand, statistically ovarian cancer risk is reduced in these cases:

* Multiple children-women with children have a 45% decrease in risk of ovarian cancer relative to those women who have not borne children. Each child is associated with a 10-15% reduction in risk. * Breast feeding-a reduction in lifetime risk for ovarian cancer of nearly 1% for each month of lactation has been reported. * Oral contraceptive use-OC use appears to reduce the risk of ovarian cancer by 30-60% depending upon the duration of use. * Tubal ligation (sterilization)-33% decrease in risk * Removal of the ovaries (Prophylactic oophorectomy)-this is only considered in patients proven to carry the following inherited cancer syndromes: familial site-specific ovarian cancer, familial breast/ovarian cancer, Lynch II syndrome. The benefits are as yet unproven and should be discussed with a genetic counselor. * Hysterectomy link

Did you see that last one listed? Yes, you read correctly, hysterectomy reduces the risk. I did a little checking and found this that perhaps explains it:

The risk of ovarian cancer goes down if the ovaries remain after hysterectomy. The reason for this is not clear, but it may be that the path for potential carcinogens from the vagina to the ovaries is interrupted when the uterus is removed. Thus, the risk of a woman developing ovarian cancer after hysterectomy is probably closer to 1 in 300 rather than 1 in 80 for women who have not had a hysterectomy. The benefit of removing ovaries for ovarian cancer prevention has been overstated in the medical literature and is, therefore, misunderstood by most physicians. link

What do you do if you're afraid of ovarian cancer?

Get regular gynocological exams. Even if you've had a hysterectomy, continue to visit your gynecologist and discuss your hormonal health, your bowels, your bladder and any other indications of your hormone levels (breast changes, appetite, weight loss and gain, bloating, distended belly). There is a blood test, the CA125 test that measures the CA-125 antigen in the blood, which rises in the presence of ovarian cancer. It's not foolproof, but it's relatively painless and an easy test. It's not foolproof though and can give false negatives and false positives. There are also new tests on the way.

What Kills Women?

Yes, ovarian cancer is serious. But far more menacing as cancer goes are lung cancer, breast cancer, colon cancer and in African-Americans pancreatic and cervical cancer also out-pace ovarian cancer mortality.

I'm not trying to minimize the risk of ovarian cancer. But let's face it, ovarian cancer is not what kills women. Obesity related diseases kill women - diabetes, strokes and most of all, heart attacks.

Here's a little breakdown for the year 2000:

The Important Things

Yes, sometimes genetics gives us a raw deal, but instead of worrying taking out functioning organs, concentrate on the things that you do have control over. Keep fit, watch your diet, stay out of the sun, get a positive attitude, expand your mind, spend time with the people you love, make other's existence better. Enjoy life.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 6:56 PM

September 10, 2004

Hot Time!

Tonight a few friends from the neighborhood came over to watch fireworks from the roof. We're not far from Dodger Stadium, so on special nights (tonight was fan appreciation night) we get treats like this.

I woke up this morning and found that I was bleeding. Not just a little tinge of pink when I wiped, but really bleeding like the beginning of my period. It alarmed me enough that I called the doctor's office.

The doctor was off delivering a baby but I talked to the nurse, who assured me that even at five weeks such a thing was normal and it wasn't a mini-period. It couldn't be a mini-period. She said that the doctor is very careful to remove all endometrial tissue from the top of the cervix. Okay.

I'm not really troubled if I end up with a mini-period. My feeling is this: it's like I've kept a functioning part of my uterus. The studies say that women who lose their uterus go into menopause 3-5 years sooner than women who keep it. Well, what if the reason they go into menopause early is because they're not getting any biochemical feedback? If I have a bit of my uterus, maybe it'll keep my ovaries on their toes!

I have no clue if that's true.

But the bleeding is not that bad. Two panti-liners today.

No pain to speak of. My energy level is good and I had a drink today.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 11:20 PM

September 12, 2004

The Mall Life

Today, because it's still hot, my husband and I went to the mall.

He needed a new suitcase for his trip next week and I was interested in looking at some clothes that I might be able to wear back to work.

My belly is still a little big and I don't think my old clothes will be comfortable. I was thinking of some business-style jumpers. Alas, I didn't find anything like that. I did see an ultra cute dress at Ann Taylor. They just don't make dresses anymore. I want a short sleeve dress that comes to my knee, is that so hard? I don't want to look matronly, but sometimes I wouldn't mind looking like Donna Reed, you know, feminine and crisp.

Tomorrow I might make another journey out to do that again. Or maybe I'll just kick back. I suppose it depends on the heat.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 9:35 PM

September 14, 2004

Brilliant

I had a brilliant idea this morning. I've been on a kick lately to organize things. Since I've been trapped in the house I've wanted to reduce clutter.

One of my pet peeves at the moment is the proliferation of drugs and supplements sitting on the kitchen counter. So I got it into my head that I could put them in the cutlery drawer in a spice rack. So I went out to the store this afternoon and picked up one of those spice racks that fits in the drawer. I tried to put it in the drawer and drat! it didn't fit. I'll have to return it.

Well, I suppose that gives me something to do tomorrow.

I also made stop at Victoria's Secret too. When my husband and I were wandering around the mall on Sunday he remarked about some very nice looking lace panties. They were $25. I wasn't about to pay that much money for one pair of undies that I probably wouldn't wear on a regular basis and would have to hand wash. So I went back today and found some rather nice and equally sexy little panties that were on sale for three pairs for $25. They also offered me a free bra fitting ... but I don't think I'm ready for that. My breasts are a little big right now and I'm a little worried they're going to stay that way.

My next check-up is next Tuesday. I'm looking forward to that. I feel sometimes like I need to impress my doctor, and this time I'd like to impress her with how well I've been healing.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 9:35 PM

September 15, 2004

New Tests on their way for Ovarian Cancer

I know I wrote a lengthy article last week about keeping your ovaries. One of the things that I mentioned is that there will be tests available soon to detect ovarian cancer before it advances into the less treatable later stages.

There was great news in last month's issue of Cancer Research. Johns Hopkins Kimmel Cancer Center have developed a test examining three markers in the blood. Used in conjunction with the existing CA-125 test it was 83% effective at diagnosis early stage ovarian cancer. Not only that, the false positives were reduced from 48% of the time to 6%.

The blood test screens for three different proteins that are unique to those with ovarian cancer. Not only does this allow doctors to diagnose the cancer earlier, but it may eventually lead to a better understanding of how the cancer develops, what causes it and to find the genetic markers that predispose women to this disease. The test still needs more testing with a larger group of test subjects before it will be widely available. More info here.

In other news, the Fox Chase Cancer Center have taken a different tactic for detecting ovarian tumors by searching for indications of hypermethylation of two tumor-supressor genes. I don't fully understand this approach, but because it's not looking for protein markers like the Johns Hopkins test, it seems that it offers yet another front to attack this elusive cancer. This same team used the same approach with detecting prostate cancer and kidney cancer with the same tactics. More info here.

Other encouraging findings include a study out of the University of Southern Florida College of Medicine point to using aspirin to inhibit growth of ovarian cancer. Trials are underway in order to determine if women should be directed to take aspirin to prevent ovarian cancer. More info here.

My hope is that one or more of these tests will be available within a year, even if it's just a limited trial. My confidence is that within the next five years there will be a simple battery of blood tests that women take just like a pap smear to screen for not just ovarian cancer, but other cancers that can be easily treated when found early.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 6:38 PM

September 16, 2004

Back on Subject

I forgot. This diary is supposed to be about uterine fibroids. I'm not quite sure if I should have this diary filed under fibroids any longer since I don't have them.

I have to say, I don't miss those rocks in my belly one bit.

I was talking on the phone this evening and I was on the bed ... on my stomach.

Ah, the little things.

I went out today and didn't go to the bathroom before I left the house, but that wasn't a problem. I didn't need to go!

Oh, I almost forgot, Happy New Year!

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 10:51 PM

September 17, 2004

Getting Rid of Things

"Perfection is reached not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I still have twinges that having a hysterectomy was a mistake. I still get feelings that it was a selfish act, a reckless act. My condition was not dire, my symptoms not life threatening. I know that there is a chance that there will be side-effects. That maybe my ovaries won't continue to function admirably for the next fifteen years.

But I also have to remind myself that this is not the first time I've had an operation that was not generally deemed necessary.

When I was a little kid, from about the age of four, I had ear infections. Long, painful bouts of ear infections. And they weren't just ear infections, they were strep throat that got so bad it spread to my ears. It got so bad that my hearing was affected. I had to sit at the front of my classes just to hear what was going on. I was on antibiotics almost constantly from the time I was four until I was eight. To this day, the smell of that penicillin syrup they gave us just sends shivers down my spine.

As a result of these painful throat infections I also didn't eat. I was grossly underweight for my age (20%), shorter than kids my age and had a bad bone break when I was eight that was probably made worse by the fact that I wasn't developing properly.

Now, this was the mid-seventies and it was during a time doctors didn't want to do tonsilectomies any longer. It wasn't medically necessary. The doctors resisted for years. Then we moved to another state, I broke my arm, which healed very slowly, I continued to miss school and finally a doctor agreed that my hearing problems and impeded growth were caused by my constant strep infections.

The week after my ninth birthday my mother took me to the hospital and I had my tonsils and adenoids removed.

Shortly after the surgery I discovered that food was actually good! I gained weight and actually started getting taller. My hearing returned to normal. By the time I got to junior high, I was perfectly normal.

It got me to wondering. My mother is 5'8" - could I have been that tall if I didn't go through those constant infections for all those years? Would I have done better at school or made friends easier if I didn't have the hearing problems? Certainly I was lucky that removing my tonsils did in fact cure my recurrent infections. I've not had strep throat since, not one throat infection of any kind.

I've started thinking about my hysterectomy in the same way. I was not using my uterus. My uterus was causing me troubles.

I have to believe that awful pressure on my bladder, bulk in my belly pressing on other organs and my intestines, and the heavy bleeding has an overall affect on my health. That much bleeding cannot be healthy. These were not things that were going to kill me, but then again, a little bit of my quality of life was being chipped away. I couldn't be as active as I wanted to be because of my increasingly small bladder capacity. Let's face it, if anything is going to affect my longevity, it's lack of exercise and altering my diet because of bowel troubles.

Perhaps this is all just a complicated rationalization. Call it elective surgery if you want, but at the moment I'm glad I did it because it gives me a much more optimistic outlook on the next 50 years.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 7:53 PM

September 18, 2004

Incision Check!

Since someone on the HysterSisters site asked, I figured it was time to post my incision photos for the past few weeks.

Unfortunately I stopped taking them for a while since my husband took the camera with him on a couple of trips.

So here is where we left off at week three.

Week 3 - august26a.jpg - the last little scabs on the ends are gone. There are still lots of ingrown hairs in my pubic area and around the incision site. It also itches, and sometimes I made the mistake of scratching without thinking, man did that hurt!

Week 4 - september02a.jpg - all of the scabs are gone and there are no lumps or flaky skin parts anymore. It's a solid purple line now, just a slight indentation from the surrounding skin.

Week 6 - september18a.jpg - the incision has no swelling at all around it. A few hairs are ingrown to the scar tissue (I'm not sure what to do about that yet - you can see them better in this closeup - september18b.jpg). The hard ridge above the scar is gone, though it's still a little puffy there towards the end of the day.

All the incision photos are taken in the morning after I shower. I'm probably holding in my belly a little bit too, mostly so the light will get on the incision properly for the photo. The swelly belly isn't that bad. The pants that I wear in the morning a usually a little tight towards evening. I figure on my bad swollen belly days I gain about two inches and it usually goes away by evening.

Of course this is all just me. In general, I heal slowly. Cuts and scrapes seem to hang around for months. But I'm also not the type to swell up. I had a ruptured meniscus in my knee a couple of years ago and the doctor was confused that I had so much pain until they did the MRI and was still mystified why I didn't get more swelling. If you're the type of person to swell when you twist an ankle or get edema in your feet, who knows what surgery will bring for you.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 6:20 PM

September 20, 2004

Getting Back

I've pretty much made the decision to go back to work later this week. I have my six week checkup tomorrow (even though I'm almost seven weeks post) and will discuss it with my doctor.

I went to the outlet mall on Saturday and if I was able to handle the hour drive and all that walking, I think I'm ready to get back to the office. Granted, after that little trip I was wiped out, but I've got to start somewhere.

I talked to my supervisor and she's all for me coming back part-time for a week or two before the full-time transition.

So, in order to feel better about this, I'm going to be getting up and dressed each morning at the "work" time to get myself back on schedule. That won't be too hard tomorrow as I have a doctor's appointment at 8:30 anyway.

I think what's also go is I'll go back on Thursday, that'll give me two half-days at the office and then two days off to rest and get ready for the next week.

I'll post again tomorrow with the results of my doctor visit.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 8:17 PM

September 21, 2004

Cleared!

I had my doctor's appointment bright and early this morning at 8:30.

The doctor looked at my incision (well, it's more of a scar now) and was pleased at how well it's healed and that there are no gaps whatsoever or any spots that are having trouble. She said the nerve sensitivity on my belly will eventually go away. She recommended boxers, I told her I'd been wearing boyshorts, and she seemed pleased to hear a tip she could pass on to her other patients.

Then she gave me my pelvic exam. There was no speculum, I guess she wasn't interested in looking at my cervix (I can't imagine it really looks any different than it used to). She did a manual exam, first putting her fingers inside me and putting the other hand on my belly and finding my ovaries (which were right where she left them). Then she did some more feeling around inside there, she seemed to feel all around my cervix and pleased with that she pronounced me fit and cleared. She said I still had some fluid in my abdomen but that would slowly go away (yay! it's fluid, I might actually get rid of some of this belly!).

She told me I could go back to all my old activities, but I should go slow and try things out and if I have any pain or trouble, I'll need to take it easy. I'm free to have sex. But with my husband out of town, that'll still be a week.

We talked about my bleeding back at the five week mark. She said that she was quite careful to get out all the endometrial tissue she could to keep me from having a mini-period. Of course with only one cycle so far, it's really too early to tell. She said give it a few months and see if I do have the bleeding again. I told her I wasn't worried if I did, I just want to know what to expect (should I keep buying panty liners?). We agreed that a mini-period has its advantages, as it means that my remaining uterine tissue will still put out a little bit of hormones which will give some feedback to the ovaries and I'll have a better sense of my ovaries if I do have a mini-period as I'll be able to tell when I hit menopause.

I also got a copy of my pathology report. She gave me the big news when I was there last, but frankly I forgot most of it instantly and only managed to keep the big info like - 12 fibroids, one polyp and 630 grams.

There's lots of technical stuff on the report, but I was curious what sort of position my fibroids were in. It turns out that most were intramural (within the muscle of the uterine wall) and some were subserosal (on the outside of the uterine wall). The largest one was 11 cm (4 1/3 inches) - but apparently there were four of them in a row (all about the same size) that formed one super long "master fibroid" that was about 19 cm (7 1/2 inches) long and about 8 cm (3 inches) around (that was what my surgeon described as the "Japanese eggplant" they removed).

I can't say I miss them in the slightest. I'm glad there was nothing alarming in the pathology report either.

At the end of the appointment, my doctor said that she'll see me next May for my yearly Pap and exam.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 4:53 PM

September 22, 2004

Going Back to Work

I feel like a kid going back to school.

Tomorrow I go back to work.

I'm trying to figure out what to wear. My belly is still a bit tender and big towards the afternoon, so I want to pick something that will accomodate it.

I'm looking forward to being productive again.

I'm also looking forward to earning my pay. I've been getting my regular pay for this medical leave, but frankly I feel guilty about it. In one way though, I know I shouldn't. I've been working for the past 20 years or so and have probably taken five sick days in that whole time. I deserve the time to recuperate.

I plan to get to work early, mostly so I can get a good parking spot. I don't like parking on the roof of the garage because my car gets hot. (I know, these are grave problems.)

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 8:22 PM

September 23, 2004

Working Girl

I got to work early this morning to get a good parking space. Unfortunately, I think I'd have to get there at about seven if I wanted a spot on the first floor of the garage.

Getting in early means that I can sneak into my office before anyone else is there.

The first day back was fine but I must admit that sitting for even two hours straight at a desk makes me really uncomfortable. The staff meeting was pushed back from ten to noon, so I didn't end up leaving the office for the day until about 1:30 pm.

It's going to take a little while for me to get back into the swing of things.

I think it probably would have helped if I had coffee too. I'm going to have to allow a little extra time to pick some of that up tomorrow.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 8:07 PM

September 25, 2004

Big Belly

I got to work early this morning to get a good parking space. Unfortunately, I think I'd have to get there at about seven if I wanted a spot on the first floor of the garage.

Getting in early means that I can sneak into my office before anyone else is there.

The first day back was fine but I must admit that sitting for even two hours straight at a desk makes me really uncomfortable. The staff meeting was pushed back from ten to noon, so I didn't end up leaving the office for the day until about 1:30 pm.

It's going to take a little while for me to get back into the swing of things.

I think it probably would have helped if I had coffee too. I'm going to have to allow a little extra time to pick some of that up tomorrow.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 4:12 PM | Comments (5)

Save a Life, Protect Your Own

How often do you get the chance to save someone else's life and have it be good for you too? I'm not talking about a good feeling, I'm talking about it actually making you healthier.

First of all, I've suspected for many years (since my grandmother started having heart attacks after her hysterectomy) that it's not just hormones that protect women from heart disease. It's also bleeding. I know it sounds weird, but a lot of westerners have very high iron levels. The only folks who don't are menstruating women.

Too much iron causes a condition known as hemochromatosis which can cause stress to the liver, kidneys and heart.

Studies have shown though that too much iron may be the cause of some heart problems.

But the cure is so simple, just donate blood.

I know, it sounds practically medeival - bloodletting.

But it's for a good cause. At this time blood cannot be synthesized and is needed for treatment of accident victims, burn victims, those undergoing surgery and those with diseases like hemophilia. It costs you nothing but an hour or so to go donate.

I used to donate all the time - I've donated more than three gallons in my lifetime but have not been allowed to donate for the past three years because of my anemia. Now that I've had my hysterectomy, anemia is not going to be an issue any longer. Not only that, I feel that I need to donate blood to stay healthy. And to just be a good neighbor. I was a little disappointed that they called yesterday evening and asked me if I could donate (I'm A negative, so I get called a lot). Alas, I have to wait for another month or so.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 10:17 PM

September 27, 2004

Still So Huge

It's amazing how huge my belly is now.

It was bugging me on Saturday, so I decided to do nothing at all on Sunday. This consisted of watching many movies on TV (pretty much left it on the Hallmark Channel all day and watched The Parent Trap, Pollyanna, the new Parent Trap). So my feet were up, I didn't go out, I didn't do the laundry. I cooked the simplest of meals for myself and yet I am still huge.

I think yesterday was the largest day. I figure I had an extra four or five pounds of fluid on me. This isn't ordinary bloating fluid like we get during PMS - that shows up everywhere, you know, making my rings tight, maybe my ankles a smidge bigger as well as my waist. But this fluid on the belly is different. It's bloating from the inside out. It's under the abdominal wall instead of in the fat tissues on top of it.

Yesterday I just wore a nightshirt all day. Today, I had to go to work so I wore a loose dress.

My only loose dress.

I'll try to find something to wear for tomorrow. I don't think I can even stand elastic waist pants.

I'm really not worried about looking fat. I know I'm not fat. I'm 135 pounds and 5' 5" and I wear a size eight. I'm pretty much where I should be - maybe a little less fat and some more lean muscle.

My temptation is to eat a little less or exercise a little more, but if I've got this much fluid in my belly, it must mean that things are trying to heal and I should just leave it alone. And drink more fluids. Oh well. The training for the marathon gets put off another week or two.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 5:22 PM

September 28, 2004

Right on Time!

You might recall that back on August 29th I mentioned that I was ovulating.

Well, here it is exactly 30 days later and I do believe I've ovulated again. I was a little worried, since I think that one of my ovaries is lazy (one of them skips about twice a year). But here I am, not skipping a beat from my pre-hysterectomy ovulation which was July 27th.

Frankly, I've been worried.

I guess part of it is trying to rationalize the surgery. But I've been on this kick to help inform women about keeping their ovaries. Half of all hysterectomies include removing the ovaries (oophorectomy). I can understand getting rid of them for recurring painful cysts, endometriosis and of course ovarian cancer or having the genetic marker for ovarian cancer/breast cancer. But I really don't understand removing healthy ovaries just because they're down there. I mean, you don't see doctors recommending removal of the testicles when they're doing a vasectomy! Why would doctors want to remove healthy glands?

I know that ovaries in women who have had hysterectomies fail on average five years sooner than women who keep their uterus. I don't want to be one of those. I want my menopause at 56. I want my ovaries to keep producing androgens well into my seventies and eighties. I love my ovaries and I hope they stick around for a long, long time. The fact that I'm ovulating normally is such a huge relief. It almost makes me look forward to PMS, since it means that my hormones are at the same levels as before surgery.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 7:38 PM

September 30, 2004

Feeling Sorry for Myself

I'm in a bad mood. I don't think I can blame it on hormones. Probably not even the operation.

First, my husband is sick. I know, I should be wonderful and supportive because he's not feeling well and he took such good care of me in the early weeks of my recovery. But it pisses me off. We've not been intimate for weeks and we haven't had sex since the surgery of course. I've been "cleared" for over a week now, but he's been out of town and now has the flu or something.

I've got stuff to take care of around the house. My neighbor has been bothering me to remove a tree that hangs over her roof, so I'm trying to get quotes on that (why don't people come to quote a job when they say they will?). Insurance woes ... I've been double billed for some stuff, other things have been refused by my insurance company so I'm trying to make calls. But it seems that some of these call centers are in the east or just close early.

I'm fighting with a friend of mine. It's not so much that I'm angry with him, I'm guessing. I'm angry at all those other friends who haven't been there for me, but I feel weird just calling them and telling them that, so I take it out on the people who do call me or email me.

I feel abandoned. Where were my friends when I was recovering? I had one friend that visited me regularly. I had two friends who never called, ever, at all in the past two months. I have two friends who never showed up to help me when my husband went out of town (to help me take out the garbage cans to the street on garbage night, walk the dog, do grocery shopping).

I'm still not up to snuff, maybe I shouldn't have gone back to work last week, but going to the office and then coming home and taking care of my husband is just a little too much for me right now. I'll get through it of course, there are plenty of people in the world that have it far worse than I do, I recognize that. So I'll muddle through and probably just whine a bit here.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 4:43 PM

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