January 5, 2005
Let Me Intoduce Myself
First let me begin by introducing myself. As it says in my profile I am a 24 year old female living in central Alabama. Have lived in Alabama all my life. I now live with my husband of almost 6 years and our 3 and a half year old daughter. My husband works full time while I only work part time because of raising my daughter and my illness. I have had schizophrenia all of my life but am just now finding out that that is what I have. This is because my symptoms have really exploded lately and I am tired of trying to pretend that everything is okay when it's not. I can't hide it anymore because I am not able to.
It has been really hard for me to realize that I have schizophrenia knowing that this is such an impact on my life and how it will impact what I am able to accomplish in the future. To realize that you have an incurable disease of the mind is such a huge thing. What's even worse is that people around you don't understand because it is not physical-like cancer. It is all in the mind and cannot be helped. I am currently not seeking psychiatric help nor am I on any medications because of financial difficulties and loss of good insurance. Until that changes I don't really know what to do to help myself. So I give you this diary as a raw encounter into the mind of a schizophrenic.
Posted by Stephanie on January 5, 2005 8:17 PM
stephanie,
thank you so much for your honesty...my 24 year old son has struggled with a diagnoses of bipolar for the last 4 years, taking meds, seeing pschy, etc....but always still exhibiting signs of problems. he diagnoses has now been changed to schizophrenia and we now face a long recovery before he can return home. of course all of his meds were wrong...i cannot tell you how helpless his dad and i feel. our 36 year marriage has suffered terribly since he was first diagnosed, with dad not believing anything was wrong...with this last episode there is no doubt in our minds that our son has also suffered terribly. we continualy pray that we will see him as a happy 24 year old again...he is presently in the local clinic for stabilization and the staff often finds him standing in the hallway, "waiting for my school bus"...i will add you and your family to our prayer list....God bless you and yours.
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