Me under stress

Been gone a bit.

Working on things around here with the uprising against my apartment complex. At this point there’s attorneys involved, the city’s come out several times (they were no help.) Still, I’m preparing to get out of here in the coming months. That means lots of packing and rearranging and thinning things out. I’ll admit it I’m rather preoccupied. As much as I complained about the satellite being interrupted I’ve barely watched it. Thanksgiving approaches and all the eating issues and family histories with it. My friend wants to have thanksgiving here, but someone tried to break into her house and damaged her front door, which must be repaired before she leaves the house. I’m thinking that if she doesn’t get her door fixed by Wednesday I’m not cooking the turkey till the weekend. I’m not really ready for thanksgiving really. I just want to skip it to be perfectly honest. I could spend the day fasting and just doing nothing. No writing, no thinking, just nothing! I could maybe watch some football, or not. Football always makes me think of snack foods, probably won’t do that now that I think about it!

Anyways the weight’s not increasing but hasn’t gone down much just a couple pounds. I haven’t taken my blood pressure lately, but will try to get that done in the next day or so.

I do know this; my thoughts about getting thin seem to take over most of my focus lately. I’m trying to eat less and move more! I’m walking in place when the dogs go to the field and I’m increasing my crunches each day. I need to get 30 minutes of walking in a day, everyday. I’m really into that new show “You on a Diet” by Dr. Oz and Dr. Roszin. I’m starting to count calories more. I even weighed twice today and lost 3lbs from the morning weight by afternoon.

Mentally, I feel trapped in my apartment and violated by the construction ineptness going on around here. People are moving out of the apartments in droves. My lease and the drive to the Midwest keep me here until the lease is up and the movers can get through the roads without dealing with the winter weather.

My sleep is sporadic and waning. The stressors of living here leave me quite out of sorts. Because I never know when the workers will show up and I’m too afraid not to monitor what they’re doing on the deck, just in case they do more damage to my property or the windows I can’t rest or let my guard down. I think that’s what’s leading to my current obsessiveness on the eating and calories and weighing. My eating or not eating is the only thing I can control. Oh well. I’ve got to head to Sam’s club early this morning so I’d best try to get in at least 3 hours sleep if I can get myself to sleep.

Posted by ijellorca on November 21, 2006 3:23 AM | DIGG | del.icio.us | furl