Lenten Week 3 Reflections

Discipline is a word that hearkens back to our childhood, or to the machinations of those in our lives who want us to conform to certain behaviors or to the needed requirement for developing ‘character.’ Actually, the word is grounded in the word disciple, which means a ‘learner.’ Discipline can become for us a way to encounter new learnings about ourselves and to actively engage in extracting from those learnings insights that can deepen our understanding of life and spirit. Lent invites us to re-enter the school of life and be discipled in the endless possibilities for growth. Take time this week to try out discipline with a new intention, and find the world opening up to you.
What is life trying to teach me and how open am I to learning?

Wow come to think of it in terms of discipline, I don’t know how open I am to learning anything. I never thought of disciple in as some who learned through discipline. I think I’m the most undisciplined person on earth. My daily non- structure is starting to sicken me and yet I feel less and less compelled to do anything about it. My workouts have dropped almost to nil. I’m ashamed to share it with my mom, she’s working out every day and she’s 76 this year! I feel bad today, my sweetie’s really having a rough time and it’s hard to raise his spirits when he feels so discouraged. I don’t have enough money to take the spiritual class I want to take and I don’t want to ask for money. I hate asking for money. I have applied and keep applying for jobs to no avail. Maybe I’ll re-adjust my resume. I should be taking this time to write instead of worrying about work and money, but I feel uncomfortable writing as if nothing’s critical in my life. I suppose that’s the way all of us have to work most times so maybe I’d better get myself accustomed to it.
I’m praying but not as intensely as I had planned, because I just feel tired this week like I did with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, only now I can sleep and this week I’ve been doing a lot of that. I know it’s only Wednesday. For me sleeping more than 6 hours a day is a lot and I’ve been sleeping probably 10 hours or more in the last couple days. Almost all my activities lately are surrounding things that keep me from dealing with my life and myself, which is why writing is harder to do because it causes so danged much self-reflection even when you’re unaware of it!

Posted by ijellorca on March 15, 2006 1:31 PM | DIGG | del.icio.us | furl