Valentine This!

My sweetie is 2100 miles away and he’s sick with a cold and flu! Go figure. I can’t even take care of him and talking to him when he’s so sick isn’t a good idea. He’s too MIS-ABLE. My dear sweetheart, I hope he heals quickly; he’s still got the business to run and paperwork to do. When he doesn’t make to church on Sundays he’s really in a bad way. Sounds like he had the flu I had couldn’t get warm no matter how much he wrapped himself up or turned up the heat. It’s beautiful outside but COLD!

All day I’ve been working on the drive to St. Louis and goals. There’s a lot to plan and calling motels etc to find out if they take dogs and the fees etc takes time too.

I watched Oprah the other day and she had her Workout Guru “Bob Greene” on and he said that that point where you feel “hungry” is when your body is losing weight. I thought about that really hard last night, and then I decided today to eat tiny small meals to make me feel more “hungry” I’ve eaten every 2 hours in since 9 AM this morning. My meals have consisted of 2 almonds and 1/8 of an apple. I’ll be honest right now I’d like some chicken fettuccine and the way I feel right now I’ll probably have it.

Just ate my 2 almonds and apple slice early. I’m going to boil some eggs for a quick easy protein meal. I tell you there’s so much to think about to deal with etc. There’s so much preparation to lose weight, unless you fast. My favorite part of fasting is not eating anything. You don’t have to think about it or prepare for it you can get right to it! I hate that weight loss is something you have to wait for. It sure didn’t take any “wait” to get the weight it seems!

It’s an emotional day. I woke up completely unaware it was February 14th, Valentine’s Day. Then when I caught the clue with 14 blaring on the digital clock at me and couldn’t speak to sweetie, he was in a city meeting re the business. So finally get to speak to him a couple hours later and he’s sick as a dog. I feel rather emotionally left out. I understand that he’s sick and can’t fly here just to embrace me for Valentine’s Day, but I still wish I could have an intimate night with him.

Truth be known I’ve felt so danged “amorous.” Okay, horny lately, hormones!! Ack! I know that chicken pasta would feel comforting and embracive. I want something creamy and tasty and “foody” I don’t want something sweet or chocolaty (the typical Valentine fare.) I want to feel that FULL BELLY feeling I get right after I’ve made love. Sometimes I think if I had been a nymphomaniac I’d be a super slim beauty! I guess if I needed that much sex I would need to be svelte, sexy and beautiful.

I realize this is all describing emotional eating, but the fact I get this is a big portion of my battles with weight and food etc. I feel at times like I’m floundering here. I know that having little structure in life can bring this about. I’m still in the waiting game to live my life. How do I break out of this????? Valentine’s day, Bah hooey to that!

Valentine’s day doesn’t come in a box of chocolates or a romantic meal, or a diamond ring, or a crimson card… It’ll come when I can lie in my sweetie’s arms and just do nothing, but not for a weekend or a week, for the rest of our lives together.

I love you honey,
I miss you;
I want to be closer than your clothes are to you right now.

--Love me.

Posted by ijellorca on February 14, 2006 1:25 PM | DIGG | del.icio.us | furl

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