Day 13 to Change

Weight: No Change
Food eaten: Pear, oatmeal
Exodus: none planned
Exercise: none so far will do abs
Hygiene: Shower
Writing: 3 hours
Chores: None yet, planning on dishes, put away groceries(been sitting all over kitchen for almost a week -non perishables)

Meditation: None yet hope to do some before nap

Started out day with Pear and about 6 hours later oatmeal. So far okay, still haven't made pot of tea. Stomach is a little upset and cramps making stomach region Ucky. I'm tired. I don't know why my period gets me so sluggish these days.

STill waiting to start the weight loss program through my job but they keep screwing up and it's set up such aura of mistrust on them that I don't think my expereince will be as good as I had originally hoped. It's going to be all I put into. I've already decided I only want to deal with them when I have to and don't want to put any more time and effort into it. I've got the Curves membership and more than enough work out videos to use. I just wanted that place to jump start my routine anyways because I'll be obligated to workout 3 days a week for an hour with a personal trainer.

My sleep's been interrupted for 2 days and with the hormonal fluctuations it's got me pretty low on energy to tackle just a regular day! I've got some work to do but I'm not ready to do "tasks" really just drift into a room and do some stuff drift out and do some stuff elsewhere. Since tomorrow's Thursday I'll get things ready to mail off. I need to finish my sweetie's jeans. Said I'd mend them and now I'm afraid he'll not like my job. I wish I wasn't so messed up. It's so embarrassing.

In a couple weeks I'll be 42, ain't that a shame. Big big shame to look like this and not sure if I'd rather hide under blankies for the rest of my life or actually take a stab at living really living and then miss alltogether! Fear of success? Just plain fear period!

Posted by ijellorca on January 19, 2005 12:17 PM | DIGG | del.icio.us | furl