January 06, 2005
The Beginning
Hello everyone. As you can see, my name is Sarah, and I'm seventeen years old. I know that everyone on the site has some sort of medical condition, be it mental health, physical, or weight loss...etc. I can't truthfully say that I have a professional diagnosis, but I have my own personal diagnoses. =) I really believe that I have bipolar disorder, if only a mild form of it. Nearly all the time, I'm either extremely energetic and happy or I'm just plain down and bitchy/sad. It's terrible, because not only does it affect me, but it affects my boyfriend, my friends, my family, and anyone else I come in contact with. It's really just a big obstacle. It only takes the tiniest thing for me to flip out and want to crawl out of my skin and die somewhere. I refuse to see a doctor about it, because it's part of who I am. I want anything but to be not what I am. I think everyone should want that.
I also tend to be a bit obsessive compulsive...but sometimes it's not so bad. I'm pretty sure I got it in my heredity, because both my father and his mother really show the OCD. I just check things, worry about things, and think of the worst possible scenarios. =) Oh, and I can't forget that I always worry about getting illnesses and such. It's so draining...
Anyway, I joined this website because I stumbled upon it while doing a research paper for my english class on Dissociative Identity Disorder. I began reading Pilgrim's Journey, and became very interested and inspired. Pilgrim seems like a wonderful woman, who is very very strong and beautiful. I really look up to her. Her diary also provided me with something I couldn't find in a book: insight. I believe that's quite a valuable thing. So, after reading Pilgrim's diary, I really wanted to be able to communicate with her. Now that my diary has been set up by the wonderful Tracy [thank you so much!] I will be able to do so, as well as with everyone else here.
Sarah
Posted by fourrightchords on January 6, 2005 01:22 PM
Comments
I know you say you refuse to see a doctor about this because its part of who you are, and I totally get that. I just dont want you to have to get to feeling worse and worse and worse and get to such a bad point that you HAVE to get help, like I had to and so have many others. Do you think it might be helpful for you to go see a doctor sooner rather than later so that you can get a head start on getting help for your problem, so that you can stop it in its tracks and so you dont have to take the chance of things ever getting worse? I just dont want you to feel bad.
Posted by: Pilgrim at January 13, 2005 09:38 AM
Hey Sarah,
I'm Judy (chronic pain, fibromyalgia) and I wanted to welcome you. I came here from an invite on a FMS group and it's been healing and helpful for me to write and even more interesting and bringing me out of my shell to make friends here. First one, Pilgrim, isn't she a special lady?! I try to read a variety of folks posts each week, always checking in wiith Pilgrim's diary first. I wish I could take her under 'wing' and protect and be with her; then the rub is she's in TX and I'm in AZ and my computer time has lessened since my stepson moved in .
Well again, welcome,
Hugs and Blessings, Judy
Posted by: Judy at January 17, 2005 02:26 AM
