January 24, 2005
It's Today Again
Well, I see my journal has been included in the scrolling list on the homepage! I'm excited about that. The other day, I was asking someone how one comes to have their journal in those listings. I know I don't have any SEVERE problems, or so I think, but I really enjoy this site and most of the people I've come to meet here so far. I hate Mondays. I know that's cliche, but I hate them because there are so many days left in the school week, plus I have to go to choir. In choir, I sit there for two hours looking at the clock every minute and anticipating it being over. I used to LOVE going to choir...but now it seems as if it's a chore. There's nothing enjoyable about it anymore. Nothing but, "oh we have to do great at contest so we can go to state!" And everyone there is just annoying. They do everything wrong, and don't even pay attention to the details. When someone corrects something, they do it right once, and then continue to do it incorrectly. It's just a big nerve-trap. It makes me crazy. Barely anyone in choir is my friend anymore. A lot of the people are new, and the old people (with the exception of Angi and I) are not fun anymore, and just annoy us with their cute little voices and inside jokes. I'm so sick of it.
This weekend was an emotional roller coaster. I was on top of the world one minute, and then out of NOWHERE...I couldn't stand being alive. At one point in the middle of Saturday night, I started freaking out and wanting to rip my soul out of my body. I couldn't stand myself...or the way anything was. It seemed that everything was nothing but irritating. I finally was able to just fall asleep. That made it better. But, it's almost like I can feel the change coming on. I can tell when it's going to go downhill and keep going downhill. My boyfriend says that knowing that will make it easier to control. He says that if I know something's going to make me start, I should not let it get to me, brush it off, and continue with what I'm doing. It's just not that easy for me. It's almost like a wave of heat washing over me. It's so hard to explain. I wish there was someone inside my head who could just dictate to everyone what I mean. I guess that's why I write poetry. I've never added any poetry on this site. Perhaps I should.
-- There will be a poetry section added for your reading pleasure.
--By the way...if my journal seems organized and often about nothing, it's because I find comfort in writing down my thoughts...and they're usually at random. I jump back and forth a lot too.
***I'm sorry, folks...I don't know how to add a poetry page. Could someone please comment and explain to me how I can have a link to my poetry...like others have links to art and such? I don't have the poetry anywhere on the internet yet, so I will have to create that as well. I plan to just copy it on a page and then have the link to it on here. I'm in the dark, though...help me out, please?
Posted by fourrightchords on January 24, 2005 11:05 AM
I can help you figure out a poetry page and you can add other stuff if you want. Go to my homepage... at the bottom it will say something like "Get your own page at Freewebs.com"...click on that and join (its free--- you can get 7 pages for no money)--- if you need help setting it up just IM me and I'll help you out.
I'd love to read your poetry. That's one thing about the odd mood swings--- they really do allow one to produce some beautiful works of art and poems and other creative works, Sarah. I hope that even though your moods drive you nuts a lot of the time, that eventually you can find that somewhere in them is a gift. :)
Posted by: Pilgrim at January 24, 2005 06:36 PM