July 31, 2004
Okay, so now a post
Okay, so now a post for today, the day I've gotten my blog.
Another health issue to add to my repertoire: I went to see the doctor and after she checked out my chronic back pain and prescribed ear drops for my infection (I'm falling apart at the seams!) she said, "So tell me about your weight problem." Uhm, sorry lady, I've always been a little pudgy, but definitely in the realm of normal. I don't eat fried foods, I exercise, I try to eat healthily, and you calling me fat is going to make the depression go splat with such a sudden drop to rock bottom.
Yeah, well, that's that. "Try harder."
On a positive note, I've figured out massive developments in two stories I'm working on things that will help me disintegrate blocks I never knew I had.
Maybe it's because I have a long term boyfriend who boosts my confidence, but I am recently unable to keep myself from imagining myself with other guys. I think the relationship would be much less comfortable, much more stressful than the one I'm in now, but I feel like where I am now is where I need to be in fifteen years. I'm going down the slide headfirst, and what I need is a fun time, an ego-boosting reality-pushing fun time so that I can be propelled into finding and properly appreciating a relationship of the calliber of the one I'm in now.
Not that I have any right to be complaining, but this is my diary, and I have anxiety problems and this is what it's like. Everything looks perfect, even from the inside, but I am aware of strings being pulled behind the curtain which I cannot otherwise sense.
Posted by Maya on July 31, 2004 10:05 PM