Main » February 2007
February 15, 2007
ice day comes to an end
Umm....... I guess today turned out to be ok. I really tried to make an effort so I wouldn't have a total meltdown. I went to see my nieces for a little while. I played with my three year old niece and then I was holding the baby and she fell asleep in my arms and we just layed together on the couch for awhile. Then I tried to keep busy by going to Target. And then I went to my friend Jackie's house. We had dinner and watched Grey's Anatomy together.
So.... I did good things today and kept from freaking out on the outside, however, I'm still not doing so good on the inside.
I just need to get through tomorrow and then I'll have a week off. I'm not sure how I feel about that anymore. I thought I was really looking forward to it but now since I'm not doing so great, I'm not so sure. Yet, I don't feel like going to work tomorrow. But I don't want to be home either. I just really want to diappear from the whole world.
Posted by Butterflyteam at 7:49 PM | Comments (3)
snow day (actually.....ice day)
my school is closed today. we didn't get a lot of snow yesterday but everything is covered by a sheet of ice. driving home yesterday was a disaster so i guess it was good that i didn't have to drive to work this morning.
next week is winter break and we have the whole week off. i have been saying that i can't wait to have next week off because i'm worn out and feel like i've been pushed to my limit and just need some time off. so you would think i would be happy having today off but i would actually rather be in school today. i've been having a very hard time the past few days. a new memory and changes in stephanie that i'm confused by have left me really struggling. when i'm having a hard time, i do better if i'm in school and i'm distracted rather than at home. it's only 8:00am and i'm already dreading the rest of the day. it would be good if i could sleep and just make several hours go by, but i haven't been able to fall back asleep. i have plenty of work to do for school but i see myself not even wanting to go near it already. my head is too scattered and emotional and i feel myself freaking out already.
i don't think this is going to be a good day. i'm going to try really hard to get a grip and turn this around but i'm not very hopeful at the moment.
Posted by Butterflyteam at 5:15 AM
February 11, 2007
stephanie
Stephanie has been listening to this song quite often lately. It's "Courage" by Superchick. She's having a really hard time right now. We both are.
I told another lie today
And I got through this day
No one saw through my games
I know the right words to say
Like "I don't feel well," "I ate before I came"
Then someone tells me how good I look
And for a moment, for a moment I am happy
But when I'm alone, no one hears me cry
I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Someday I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be OK
Together we can make it through another day
I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful
The day I chose not to eat
What I do know is how I've changed my life forever
I know I should know better
There are days when I'm OK
And for a moment, for a moment I find hope
But there are days when I'm not OK
And I need your help
So I'm letting go
I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Someday I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be OK
Together we can make it through another day
You should know you're not on your own
These secrets are walls that keep us alone
I don't know when but I know now
Together we'll make it through somehow
(together we'll make it through somehow)
I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Someday I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be OK
Together we can make it through another day
Posted by Butterflyteam at 3:58 PM | Comments (1)
