Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team
May 6, 2006
still not doing so great....
after 4:00AM. can't sleep. exhausted.
donna said wanting to be loved is a good, healthy thing to do and not to give that up.
but what good is not giving up wanting to be loved if, no matter what i do or how hard i try, i never FEEL loved - even when someone really does love me?
what if i've been so damaged that i have completely lost the ability to feel loved? what if the thing i want so much is something i can never get because i am incapable of it?
Posted by Butterflyteam on May 6, 2006 1:08 AM
So sorry that it is really still tough right now.
I can say that you matter to me.
being loved this is one of those feelings that take time. Time for you to really believe that I like you no matter how ugly some of the things you have done are.
This is me( Julia ) talking to you. Belive when I say I totally understand. I know the things I have done in the past were horrible and have felt the same way. No one would love me if they knew the truth.
You can chose to believe you are worthy to be loved.
Keep hanging on.
Posted by: julia at May 7, 2006 9:11 PM
I miss you. I hope you are feeling better soon. You are worthy of love; it will take some time to recognize it, but don't despair. Love will come. Loneliness.... it just stinks, doesn't it? But, I believe you have a full life ahead, with love and friends and all your hearts desires. Don't give up! The Real Me
Posted by: The Real Me at May 12, 2006 7:04 PM