Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team
April 26, 2006
waking up this morning....
i woke up so anxious this morning. just like how it used to be several years ago. waking up with constant anxiety and fear for what seemed like no reason. i would have panic attacks every morning. that's kind of how i woke up this morning and how i'm still feeling right now. it seems like there's no reason for it but now that i think about it, i think i had some bad dreams last night. i can't quite remember what they were about but i remember i was little in them. i wonder if it was me dreaming or maybe abby, tara, or samantha or one of the other little ones. hmmm....i'm not sure if an alter has had a dream before and if they did that i would know it was them and not me. can alters dream????? i'm not sure.
there was also this thing with my hand. monday when i was with donna i started to have a memory and then a body memory of my arm and hand. it was weird. this mornign i woke up with something going on with that hand again. i don't know if it was in my dream or not. i'm not sure what's going on. i'm confused by a lot.
the last few days have brought up so much. i have been in a very young place so although i've been feeling a lot, i can't seem to verbalize it. i have to leave for school now and i'm just feeling so anxious and little. my hands are shaking as i type. i guess i should be grateful that i don't wake up like this every morning like i used to but it's very unsettling for it to be like this now. i guess when you're used to it happening everyday it almost seems easier to handle than when it goes away and then suddenly shows up and catches you off guard and you can feel the contrast of how different it is to the times you don't feel like this.
Posted by Butterflyteam on April 26, 2006 04:01 AM
