Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team
January 12, 2006
feeling a lot....
saw donna again tonight. was able to talk some more about some of the things that have changed that have left us feeling so abandoned. it was good to finally get the words out. i felt like she heard me. she said she'd think about the one part bothering me the most. i'm not sure what she has to think about. we're really having a hard time with that one. i spent the majority of the time crying. she said i need to cry. it seems like that's all i do lately. i completely lost my voice today. i was slowly losing it all week and by today it was completely gone. i'm not sick, just don't have a voice. i've been having a few other body memories so i'm not sure if this is related. tomorrow and saturday are not good days for us - friday the 13th and a full moon. i'm trying really hard to make a plan, anticipate what the little ones might be feeling and do my best to take care of them. i'm really struggling with the abandonment right now. it was so unbelievably hard to leave donna tonight. for several weeks it hasn't been that bad, but tonight it was so hard. i just really, really needed to just stay with her. to just have her put her arms around us and not let go. it was like that was the only way we would be sure we were safe. nothing else would do. i guess it could be related to anxiety about the next two days. not sure. just feeling really little and needy. :(
Posted by Butterflyteam on January 12, 2006 6:54 PM
(((butterflyteam))) wish i could be there to comfort you hon. i know this is so hard.
Posted by: P at January 13, 2006 5:41 AM
