Main » June 2005

June 26, 2005

another school year comes to an end...

This past Thursday was our last day of school. The end of the school year is always so crazy with report cards, paperwork, meetings, special events, closing up the classroom, etc. but these past two weeks have been especially stressful. I think it had to do with where I am emotionally. I just couldn't keep up with everything I had to do. I would sit with a report card in front of me and I would just stare at it. I couldn't concentrate. There are a lot of things coming up in therapy and my head was just constantly spinning. Just the fact that this is a transistion and my schedule is changing is enough to throw me off. I am very glad that I will have a lot more time on my hands to focus on my healing now. There are so many things I need to look at and examine. Most of it will be difficult but I feel like I just want to do it and get it over with and move on. But before I can do anything, I feel like I need to regroup and refocus myself. The last few weeks I have felt like no matter what I did I just couldn't keep up with everything coming at me. I feel like I need to just yell STOP! I need to be able to freeze everything and then look at it one piece at a time. I know that's not always possible, but it's just what I feel like I have to do in order to regain some control over everything.

Posted by Butterflyteam at 8:20 AM | Comments (1)

June 19, 2005

two years sober....

it has been two years today since my last drink. this has been the longest i've gone without drinking. last time i drank it was about two months short of my second anniversary. well, this time i made it to two years. most of the time it has been ok. but there have been times that i have wanted to drink very badly. i used to go to AA meetings pretty regularly but i haven't really gone in a long time. once i stopped going, it's been so hard to go back. i'm not really sure how i feel about reaching two years of sobriety. there are so many other things going on right now that i really can't focus on it. school ends this week and i still have so much work to do. there are so many other things also going on in therapy. once school ends this week, i will hopefully be able to come here more often and write about what has been going on.

Posted by Butterflyteam at 6:41 PM | Comments (1)

June 3, 2005

can't sleep...

it's 3:54am and i can't sleep. i hate this. i'm not doing well. i don't like what i'm feeling.

Posted by Butterflyteam at 12:54 AM | Comments (1)

June 1, 2005

...

i feel so incredibly sad and alone. my heart just aches.

Posted by Butterflyteam at 8:04 PM | Comments (0)