Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team
April 2, 2005
my birthday....
Today is my birthday. Technically, I am thirty, however, I prefer to say twenty-ten. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about it. I wish I was someone who is excited when their birthday comes and likes to celebrate it. A huge part of me just doesn't like anything having to do with my birthday. I guess part of it has to do with not feeling worthy enough to have a day where people would celebrate me being alive for another year. I don't feel important enough. I feel like it doesn't matter to anyone that I'm here. It makes me sad that I'm not one of those people who gets excited about their birthday. I feel like it's another thing that was stolen from me at such a young age. Another thing that was supposed to be good and instead was twisted around into something horrible. I hate the fact that this day always makes me feel so depressed and alone. Why can't I just be happy on a day that is supposed to be "mine"?
Posted by Butterflyteam on April 2, 2005 10:18 AM
Hey there Butterfly Team,
I just wanted to say that I hate that the joy of celebrating you was stolen from you in your childhood. And I hope and pray it will one day be restored.
In the meantime, I celebrate you! Here's to better days to come!
BTW You and my daughter Jennifer share the day, she just turned 19 which freaked Mom here out!
Hugs and Blessings, Judy aka AZ Traveler
Posted by: Judy at April 3, 2005 1:36 PM
Judy, thank you so much for your very kind words and for taking the time to write them to me. I really appreciate it. And please pass along birthday wishes to your daughter from another Jennifer born on April 2nd. Isn't that funny???
Posted by: butterflyteam at April 3, 2005 7:47 PM
I relate to what your saying. Iv been diagnosed with Body dysmorphic disorder, and i ve ben depressed since i was 14. I'm now 23, and i'm almost crippled with self-hatred. i dont know what i can do.reading what u said comforted me a little to know im not the only one, but didnt really give me any answers.I'm still desperately seeking something.
Posted by: James at November 23, 2005 7:47 PM
