Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team

March 29, 2005

trecking on....

I haven't written in a while. There's been a lot going on. For a while I thought I might be going inpatient. This past weekend was Easter and next weekend is my birthday. Some alters have been making it known that these two events have been extremely dangerous for us in the past. Donna wanted us to go back to the hospital in Florida to make sure we were safe. I wasn't thrilled with the idea but was willing to go. But it didn't work out with my insurance so we had to come up with another plan. I survived Easter, however it wasn't easy. Kritsy (3 year old) had a very hard time, especially on Good Friday. I have a plan in place to get through my birthday. I'm actually looking forward to it. My birthday is on Saturday. I will see Donna for a session in the late afternoon and then we are going to meet some other women from support groups that Donna runs at a show put on by survivors for rape and incest awareness. Then we are all going out to dinner (even Donna). I will probably stay in the city overnight and then Donna is doing a workshop all day Sunday to process things that may have come up from watching the show. I will be with Donna for the majority of the day on Saturday and Sunday so that will be very helpful. My mother gave me grief about not being available on my birthday to be with "the family", however, I'm happy with my choice on how to spend my birthday. I will see my family for my "birthday dinner" on Friday.

I've been on vacation from school which has been nice. I've been able to relax and do some cleaning around my apartment. The best thing is not having to be in that perfect, sociable mood if I don't feel up to it.

I'm working on a lot in therapy. A lot of new memories have surfaced and I'm also beginning to take an active role in working on my aftercare book from the hospital in Florida. I'll explain more later. I'm getting tired and think I'll try to get some sleep. Sleeping has been an issue again - an issue in the fact that I can't sleep! I'm so exhausted all the time. I think it would make such a difference if I could sleep at night. And I mean good sleep, several solid hours without waking up. *sigh* I wonder if that will ever happen.

Posted by Butterflyteam on March 29, 2005 8:47 PM