Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team

November 6, 2004

far away in my head........

feeling kind of sad and lonely today. i did a few things but just feel like i'm going through the motions. my body is accomplishing my errands but my head is somewhere very far away. went to a friend's house for an annual friend get together dinner for thanksgiving. i know, it's a bit early. i'm sure it sounds like fun and you might wonder why i feel so lonely when i have a friend's house to go to. I do love these friends and i usually have a good time with them........but, they don't know. not the whole story anyway. that makes me feel even more alone than if i didn't have any friends to be with. i don't know if that makes sense or not.

i have a lot of work to do for school. should be doing some now but i don't feel like it. putting it off until tomorrow. however i know tomorrow will come and go and i won't feel like doing it. my head is so far away. i'm not grounded at all. i fell like i can't handle the normal everyday stuff that "normal" people handle. i feel like i need to be put in a padded room, the door locked, and the key thrown away.........and me, just forgotten about. why can't i get a grip on things? why can't i function like normal people? i feel so overwhelmed by the simplest things. living life requires SOOOO much effort. so much more effort than i have to give.

Posted by Butterflyteam on November 6, 2004 9:05 PM