Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team

September 21, 2004

would anyone notice.....

Would anyone notice, really notice, if I just disappeared off the face of this Earth? They don't seem to notice when someone else is out. They see my body so they assume it's me. So if I chose to disappear, would they notice? Would they care? Wouldn't the space I take up be better served if I handed it over to someone more deserving? I think so.

I'm tired.......really, really, really exhausted. I can't do it all, however I can't accept less than "all" from myself. I can't keep up with work. I can't deal with new memories. I can't deal with everyone inside - their feelings and emotions. Don't they get it? I'm worn out. If I manage to fall asleep at night, it's only for 2-3 hours at the most. I can't function on that anymore.

Why can't I just disappear? Everyone else inside can just go on and deal with whatever they want to.......but I WANT OUT. I'm done. I've given all that I can. There's nothing left.

Posted by Butterflyteam on September 21, 2004 7:10 PM