Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team
September 07, 2004
first day of school tomorrow....
First day of school tomorrow. The kids come. I wish I was feeling better right now. It's going to be very hard to put up a front in front of them. I love teaching and I love the children more than anything - but sometimes I wish I had a job where I can walk into an office, close the door behind me and just get done what I had to get done and not have to worry so much about pretending to be happy. I have an alter (The Teacher) who has taken over in my class when I have been at my worst. She can put aside whatever is going on inside us once the children enter our room. She can proceed to teach and delight in the wonderful kids. I am terrified that she will not show up tomorrow. Things are so chaotic inside right now. Some alters are not fulfilling their usual roles. So many shifts going on. I'm very scared that if The Teacher doesn't show, I will be forced to pull it all together myself and I'm not too sure I can do that.
Posted by Butterflyteam on September 7, 2004 07:39 PM
