Health Diaries > Bipolar Disorder > Handcuffed to the Roller Coaster
April 26, 2005
When You Think You're Well...
Not one week ago, I was gritting my teeth & fighting thru as fierce a paranoia as any I've had. Then, this week, I was feeling so good, I thought I might just stop taking my antipsychotics and see what happens!
The propblem with this illness is it makes you feel good, so good that you often forget you were recently feeling bad. When I feel better, I usually can't remember how bad I felt, or how long ago it was, even if it was just yesterday. I know it's often like this for others.
The best you can do is force yourself to recall not only how you felt, but when and why, and what caused it. Feeling better, you need to consider, am I manic? or just feeling better? and if so, how long have I felt this way? For me, it's only been one week, and that's hardly a ripple in the pool of my illness.
My therapist has cautioned me not to think of myself as my illness, as someone who has bipolar and therefore can't trust my feelings. I'm still working on that one. It's very hard, when my feelings flipflop so readily. It takes practice, to consider that you have an illnes, not that you are an illness.
Posted by Susan on April 26, 2005 2:31 PM
