Health Diaries > Bipolar Disorder > Handcuffed to the Roller Coaster
April 15, 2005
Feeling Well
When I'm feeling better, I hold it like a delicate glass Christmas tree ornament, like a thin, blown-glass treasure that might shatter at any moment. I'd love to be able to enjoy it, but instead I hold it like a rare flower, that I know is going to die at any moment.
Feeling good is not that rare for me, but it does always end at some time. If I could change anything about me, it would be to relax and enjoy feeling well, and let the chips fall where they may. I'd like to feel normal, and not have to worry about whether I'm too high or manicky.
It's something I'm working on with my therapist, this feeling well sensation. I'd like to be, not happy or overjoyed, but just well. Just normal.
Posted by Susan on April 15, 2005 11:55 AM