Health Diaries > Bipolar Disorder > Handcuffed to the Roller Coaster
March 10, 2005
Don't Get Tired
I had quite the misadventure a week or so ago. I ran into a nice little mixed state, nearly quit my job, nearly dropped out of school, and in short almost screwed up my life quite royally. A good mixed state will do that to you. Not surprisingly, it came on the heels of a small hypomanic episode wherein I wasn't sleeping as much as I should--that, of course, should have been an instant tip off.
If you're bipolar, not sleeping is a deadly symptom. It's always a sign you're manic or hypomanic, and that always means you're going to crash. It may seem wonderful at the time--who doesn't need more hours in the day to finish projects, clean the bathroom, pet the cat, etc? But who needs the crash afterward? It's never worth it.
If you find you're not sleeping, get yourself to the doctor. It's time for a med adjustment. I didn't do that, to my near-regret. I only saved myself through a brief, blinding moment of sanity that made me back out of the job interview I had that would have given me a worse, lower-paying job than the job I have now. God moves in mysterious ways, as does this disease. You have to learn to listen.
I drink way too much caffeine. That's probably part of the trouble. I also work swing shift, which means here I am at 2 in the morning, when normal people are abed, busily typing away. I make up for it by sleeping 10 hours anyway, from about 4 to 2 p.m. It's not the best sleep pattern, but it's one I maintain, so at least I'm regular. Besides getting enough sleep, us bipolars need regularity.
So, get to bed, get enough rest, stay regular. Sounds easy, doesn't it? Then why's it always so hard?
Posted by Susan on March 10, 2005 1:39 AM
