Handcuffed to the Roller Coaster > February 2005 Archives

February 16, 2005

I hate life.

I'm so depressed...I applied for a city job, and I was honest about my past drug use because I believe in being honest...& now I'm "permanently disqualified" from city jobs because I'm honest. So should I have lied and told them I never used drugs and gotten the job even though I was lying? I hate life.

It just doesn't take much to make me depressed, and now I'm twice as upset because I just don't see any point in continuing with anything. Any job I want, with the County or the city, they're going to ask if I've ever used drugs and I'll have to say yes, because it's true, and then they'll "disqualify" me. It was nearly 20 years ago! Doesn't that count for something? I hate life.

So I'll never get what I want because I was stupid when I was young & didn't know what I wanted from life. Life sucks. They never let you forget. I hate life.

Posted by Susan at 11:54 PM | Comments (0)

February 4, 2005

Support Groups and Depression

Today, a word about support groups. They can be very very good, or very very bad for you, depending on the group. I've been lucky enough to find a good one, but you can't always be sure of finding a good one right off the bat. You need to be careful, and go into a group with both eyes open.

A good support group gives you, well, support. You should feel comfortable within the group, and after a couple of meetings feel safe enough to share everything about yourself. You should trust the group to keep your secrets, give you positive reinforcement and supportive feedback, and intervention when you need it. If you don't get this within the first 3 or 4 meetings, you should find another group.

Finding a good support group is kind of like finding a good therapist. It's kind of hit and miss. You have no choice but to go to a group and feel it out first, to see if you like it, if it's a good fit, and so on. But trust your instincts. If you don't feel comfortable right away, then it's not the group for you.

The best way to know if it's the right group is how they deal with you when you are depressed. If you go into a group feeling really down, and they understand, let you talk at your own rate, give you as much time as you need, and give you good advice afterward, then its a good group. If, as in a group I know of near where I live, they use a kitchen timer to restrict you to a five-minute share, then its a bad group. You should leave.

Posted by Susan at 1:02 PM | Comments (0)