Health Diaries > Bipolar Disorder > Handcuffed to the Roller Coaster

September 25, 2004

I'm Useless

Sometimes, I wish I could just give up.

Days when it seems like I ought to give up writing altogether. Maybe I'm really no good at writing. Maybe I've just been kidding myself these last 20 years and I'm not any good. Like today. Got another rejection notice. I'm worthless.

But I can't not write. I'm always making up stories. I have to keep telling myself that somehow, someday, I'll come up with a story that someone will like, and I'll break in. Doesn't it work that way?

I can't think of too much else depressing than thinking that the thing you love most in the world is the one thing you can't do. I ought to just give up, give in, and take a jump off a freeway overpass.

But I know I won't. Maybe I'll take a Bryman college course in Law Enforcement.

Posted by Susan on September 25, 2004 2:39 PM