Health Diaries > Bipolar Disorder > Handcuffed to the Roller Coaster
September 28, 2004
Do I Stay or Do I Go?
Still haven't heard back from Knott's. The strain is killing me. Never, never, never make a bipolar person wait. I will give them one more day, then I will call, then go back to my temp agency. I'm not constitutionally built for waiting and waiting.
I think it's the tension more than anything that's getting to me. All I want to do is forget about everything that's going on, that's why I'm sleeping so much. And eating.
I'm applying to college again. This time, I think I want a master's degree. Or a second bachelor's, whichever. I'm going for my degree in Criminal Justice. If that sounds odd, it's because I've spent the last 13 years in Security and paralegal work. It's something I'm definitely interested in, and I at least ought to make money in something I like.
Never, never make a biploar person wait. We're just not made for it. We ruminate, and stress, and despair. I've been trying not to despair, but it's very hard.
Why is my column titled "Handcuffed to the Roller Coaster?" Because that's what it feels like. That's where I am right now. Cuffed to the last car on that old coaster, being slowly dragged up the slope, waiting for the inevitable crash. I really can't take too much more.
Posted by Susan on September 28, 2004 4:29 PM
