Dear Lisa,

I'm sending all the positive spiritual energies within my powers your way tonight. But my prayers are for both you and your good friends. Don't hate me, please. But my prayers are for you as top priority.

Your friend and his wife need you with them whatever happens in the future in their and their children's lives. And you need to make sure that you are going to be there for them.

I believe you are walking a very thin line with your own health right now. And my prayers are that you will also face the music NOW! Focus on your own health although that may be frightening for you ,before you are in the ICU with your friend.

If you don't know you are in denial right now about your own disease and what risks you are taking, I know you are going to hate me saying this. But wake up now. I too was Queen of Denial for years, and I speak from experience. It was easy for me, no matter how sick I was, to call up all that adrenalin I had, rise from bed, and focus on all the other crises going around me, and solve them , to the detriment of my own body.

Your friend's third heart attack may restrict his activities, but your first heart attack could prevent you from being there for your family in the upcoming decades. You are not dealing with a rash or the flu. You are dealing with a life threatening disease.

Please, I beg of you, focus on the crisis that is going on in your own body NOW. Check into the hopital and let the rest go. Others will fill in the vacuum. Have faith.There are other guardian angels that can do what you want to for your friends. If you step aside. They will come, and from sources you cannot even imagine in the state you are in now.

Then we will all be assured that we will have your love and help and courage and bravery and support for decades to come. Don't take this hope away from us. Our prayers are with you, girlfriend. We need you. Get your ass to the hospital now. Let go. If you don't understand lupus flare ups, it's going to be devastating for you and your family to find out how dangerous they can get the hard way. I'm sorry if my having to be so crudely blunt annoys the hell out of you. But maybe that anger will stress you out to the limit that breaks the camel's back. And you girl are the camel. Hate me for being so stubborn and so bossy. Hate me for being so wrong from your perspective. Curse me. Scream your head off.

But cooperate with the SLE and get the body that is housing it to the hospital NOW. NOT tomorrow. NOW.

Luv, Cath

Hello Lisa, I am here to plea with you to think of yourself first for a change.. It sounds like you need to get to the bottom of this rash and if it means going to the er then by all means please go there.. We have just had the luxery of getting to meet you and I would love to continue to get to know you.. But to me it seems like you are not thinking clearly and you must take care of this problem right away without anymore delay.
I would not think much of myself if I could take the time to put a letter in a mailbox whom I don't know about their dog without taking this time to plea that you go directly to the hospital and if you have to be admitted then do it.. Right now do it.. Cath and I think alot of you and if she thinks that you are in jeopardy then so do I and I will do whatever is necessary to try to talk you into this.
Why is it that we are willing to take care of others but when it comes to taking care of ourselves then we just don't have the time. Well sweetie it is crucial that you now make the time.. these people will do okay without you for awhile.. They have done well enough without you so far and think of their greif if they think that they may have prevented something from happening to you or even how they would feel if something happened to you when you were trying to take care of them.. This would proably hurt them to no end and they may never ever forgive themselves.. I know that I would not and I would never be able to ask for help again not from anyone..
So please get up and admit that you need to do this for you.. Lupus first of all is nothing to mess with and now your messing with your heart. Please dear God go to the hospital.. We here need to know that you will be okay.
I am gonna keep on you till you give in and just go.. So please just do it.. and do it now before we lose you too. I have just met you and I don't want to lose you not when it could have been prevented..
I don't want to have surgery this thursday but I have to, so I am gonna do it.. I'm scared poopless but I'm bucking up and paying the price for my mistakes and taking care of it.. Beleive me I would rather wish it away.. But wishes won't heal it only surgery will.. so please Lisa go to the hospital and at least find out if you should be worried or not..
We will be here waiting to hear from you.. Please Please Please go do this.. If not for you then do it for Cath and I..
I love you and I don't even know you..imagine what the people that know you will feel if something happens to you because you were taking care of them..
Hugs Suzanne
Please email me if you need to talk about it..
ennazusluap@adelphia.net