July 02, 2004

Now boarding at gate nr 6

We'll be leaving tonight!! And i've got soooo much to do I'd better get started.

I seriously need to revise my eating. It's bad enough to make me feel like crap, bad enough to make me bloated and constipated (took one laxie, one too many. Can't really take those things anymore) bad enough to make me get annoyed by me but good enough to be normal. Right now I'm sitting here, wanting sweets, the soft chewy kind. Bad idea, it'll only make things worse. Besides, my dad is making us a delicious (well...we'll see about that...) lunch and I need room for that. I wanna go back to 'good' eating. Like I was doing a little while ago. It made me feel good. So you learn... I don't like eating too much crap.

The thing is: living here is pretty stressful. My mom...I don't wanna talk bad about her here but I'll just say that she's hurt me so many times, and in a way I'm worried about her and at the same time hoping something is wrong because that would mean it's not my fault. Or hers. Though I don't want something to be wrong with her. It's a relief to think: "I don't have to live in the same house as her ever again". She'll be back from Africa halfway though August. I'll be safe in Maastricht by then.

Last night I went to a friend's graduation ceremony. Hers was so much more beautiful than mine. But going there made me feel good. I love to be with people, even though the ED has ruined my social life.

Posted by Eldalote on July 2, 2004 12:31 AM