Struggling a lot

...struggling a lot lately...and feeling pretty desperate
our therapist is out of town for a family emergency thing and doesn't know when she will be back. the kids, especially Jadie, are so upset... some of them just cry and cry. Its hard to go from 2 sessions a week to nothing. Even at 2 sessions a week--long ones--we always had so much to talk about, so many things come up every day. Flashbacks and memories and inside things to deal with. to try to keep it stuffed all inside for weeks on end has been too much. The inside world, which used to have trees and flowers and a barn and horses and animals and such... it has gotten all wrecked again, just like it did when Sharon left us 3 years ago. Back then, it was like a tornado went through. Now, it is like everything died. Kids who were learning to come out and talk have shut themselves back up in boxes or gone underground. Some kids have gone back to being convinced they are bad and dirty and just sit and rock. Its like their eyes are vacant.
and we dont know what to do
there has to be a way to fix it on our own, but we havent figured it out yet
and we are going through some major life changes in the next couple of weeks--and trying to handle it with no support--
and we have had too many deaths this year, too many losses...
its just too much
we are tired
just so tired of being left
and so tired of people leaving.
just so tired of loss after loss.
sorry for the downer of a post. i am feeling pretty hopeless lately. and overwhelmed.
jodie

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under: