Pilgrim's Journey > June 2010 Archives
June 5, 2010
Change a Mind About Mental Illness
I hope that someday no one will have to feel ashamed for having a problem.
I get so tired of being ashamed and having to be quiet about having DID.
Posted by pilgrim at 9:12 PM | Comments (0)
June 23, 2010
I'm Not Who I Was
the lyrics are by Brandon Heath... but this is so much what I wish I could tell our old therapist, Sharon... it has been 2 and a half years since we saw her. We miss her so much sometimes. We just want to talk to her. Just see her. Just once.
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was
I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so
I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you
I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was
I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello
Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
Posted by pilgrim at 6:31 PM | Comments (0)
June 30, 2010
Sick kiddos and blessings
Its been a real adventure around here lately. Both girls are sick this week....nothing like a sick toddler and a sick newborn to keep you on your toes. It sounds like a hospital around here. Ibut we have had a great blessing of rain and thunderstorms....so beautiful out. The rain has washed away all the dust and dirt and everything is bright and new again. Gtg... Baby calling.
Posted by pilgrim at 12:06 PM | Comments (0)
Tried and True Methods of Recovery in 2 Years or Less
by Missy
So we have had a bunch of people ask lately, "How did you recover?" "How did you turn your life around?" So, I'm going to write down how we did it. Keep in mind, this will sound a little less inspirational than how Carolineine would write it. This is Missy... I come with sarcasm.
How to Recover from Everything in 2 years or Less
1. Get totally betrayed by the 1 person you trusted. Get your heart broken & stomped on. Have your spirit totally broken down. (hang on kiddos, this gets more fun in a minute!) Lose your trust in people. Feel like a schmuck.
2. Have the inside kids cry every day for the next year. Have nightmares about the whole experience for 2 years. Write letters that go unanswered. Have little kids cry more. Have a total chunk of your life have absolutely no closure. Learn that sometimes, life bites and things just don't make sense. Sometimes, people are just jerks. Learn that there might be nice people out there, somewhere... maybe.
3. Nearly die a couple times from an eating disorder. Go to Shades of Hope where everyone is AWESOME! Have a jump start on recovery.
4. Go home and have no support and no treatment team. Try out 8 therapists, who all SUCK at their jobs and have no business being in business. Forget therapy for 2 years. This whole business bites.
5.Have 2 friends die from cancer. Have your favorite student die from sudden illness. Have NO ONE around for support.
6. Bust your leg & end up on the couch for 8 weeks. Then bust your arm. Then bust your wrist. A year in casts is good for you! Teaches you...um... well, something probably. Then shortly after get into 2 car accidents in 1 week and bust up your back. Being in pain can be good for you. Somehow.
7.Quit your high stress teaching job which was sucking you dry & killing you slowly. Hurray! Now you have no money, but at least you're no longer busting your butt all day long with no appreciation. Yay!
8.Quit your stupid medication. Clear the suicidal fog in your head. Get new medication for the 10th time. This time it works! The fog you've been in for 3 years clears and you can THINK again. (Makers of Effexor, we all love you.)
9. Turn your life over to God. This is no joke. No one else can change you, except for the Big Guy. And He will.
10. Read Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer and Get Out of That Pit! by Beth Moore. Over and over and over again. Straighten out your thinking & get out of that mood.
11. Start talking positively. Take charge of your thoughts & behaviors. This is the hard part. You have to eat when you think you're fat. You have to get out of bed when you feel like hiding.
You have to be nice to people even when you feel like smacking them off the planet.
12. Wait a lot. Wait on God. Wait for change to come.
13. Pray a lot. Pray til you can't pray anymore. Then pray some more. Then wait some more.
14. Do a happy dance as God starts answering your prayers.
15. Enjoy your blessings when they come. Even the double blessings...like the 2 babies you have when you only prayed for 1.
16. Be sure to wait some more.
17. And (yah, weird for me to be writing, but its true for Carolineine) don't be a hater. Be nice to people. Spread the love around (yah, this is what Carolineine does.)
18. Find a new therapist who totally rocks.
19. Do the right thing even when you don't feel like it. Obey God!
20. Learn the facts instead of listening to your emotions. Feelings lie! Facts are real.
So, yah. This method may not work for everyone, but for Pilgrim, who's life is absolutely going well right now (except for that whole no-closure thing), this method is absolutely tried and true. I am sure that Carolineine will be back at some point to comment on my comments. She's like that, you know.
Posted by pilgrim at 3:55 PM | Comments (0)
