Update
I am still having dreams about Sharon and I wish they'd stop. I'm still having them about 3 times a week. It makes it hard to get her off my mind. I still think about what happened, a lot. A lot more than I should. I try not to think about what happened, because it still stings so much. Makes my heart ache. Whenever I catch myself thinking about Sharon, I try to start thinking about something else. But the feelings of rejection and worthlessness still pop up a lot. I wish so much I could find a good counselor to help me get over this. The 7 people that I tried last year were SO bad. I don't have it in me to try again, at least right now. I pray about this a lot-- that God will arrange for some good help to come along. Something that I can afford and something that will fit in my busy work schedule. So far, nothing.
And I just really need a friend, a real friend. I need someone to talk to and hang out wish so badly. A lot of people write to me here through Health diaries offering to be friends. I've discovered though that what they REALLY mean is that they want to have a friend with DID to see what its like. Then they often join my forum (AMJ) and become friends with the members there who have DID, and then they forget about me. Its happened too many times to count.
What I really, really want is someone who wants to be friends with ME, someone who wants to get to know ME....and then if they happen to find out that I have DID, it doesn't really matter to them. I keep praying about that too.
Maybe someday. I hope.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
