May 21, 2009

Please help me, and other partners, support this ministry & give homes to unwanted children:
http://www.joycemeyer.org/OurMinistries/HandofHope/News/babybulrushes.htm

From Joyce Meyer Ministries
Last Christmas near Kampala, Uganda, a young boy found a tiny crying newborn—umbilical cord still attached—on a banana plantation. What’s worse is this newborn girl lay on the plantation throughout the night while it rained.

The boy told his mother, who scooped up the baby and then brought her to the Bulrushes—a home for abandoned babies in Kampala, Uganda.

Fortunately, this newborn girl survived—in spite of the trauma of being abandoned. Thankfully we know and serve a God who does miracles through faithful people like those who run the Bulrushes home.

Raising Future Leaders in Uganda
Watoto Ministries, who founded the Bulrushes, believes in rescuing these little children so they can raise future leaders. They do this by providing love, security, hope, food, shelter, clothing and the hope of Jesus Christ.

And we at Joyce Meyer Ministries are honored to work alongside Watoto.

More than 90 babies laugh, crawl and cry at the Bulrushes. And each child is cared for by a mom. Each mom has 3 to 4 children. And throughout the early stages of his or her life, each baby stays with their mom, who provides consistency and security.

And once a child at the Bulrushes reaches a certain age, his mom takes him to the Watoto village nearby where he continues his education and training to someday become a leader in Uganda…whether he decides to become a doctor, soccer player, house painter…

Our Response to This Crisis
This story is repeated daily in Uganda where Watoto runs the Bulrushes babies home. The good news is that so many babies are rescued. The bad news is that the home is always at or above capacity.

By the close of January 2009, the Bulrushes was caring for 108 babies…6 of whom are HIV positive and one preemie undergoing intensive care. And there are new faces joining constantly.

Unfortunately, the Bulrushes has exceeded its ideal capacity. As a result, they have to turn away some babies.

That’s one of the reasons why Dave and Joyce, through Hand of Hope, decided to partner with Watoto and build a new babies home in war-torn northern Uganda.

Hand of Hope wants to give these helpless, neglected children a place where they can grow up with good food in their bellies, a safe place to sleep and a loving family to care for them.

Posted by pilgrim at 2:34 PM | Comments (0)

May 26, 2009

I really don't know why I'm doing this again. But tomorrow night I have an appointment with yet ANOTHER new therapist. I was told this person is "the bet therapist" in my state. We'll see. Only because I'm desperate. I don't really want anyone except for Sharon actually. I am not getting my hopes up but I'm just going to give this a try and do my best. Over the last 6 replacements for Sharon, my hopes have been shattered just a few too many times. But you just never know, right? So on Wednesday night, I have an appointment with a new therapist, who is a Christian this time, so maybe that will help... it is a man this time...which is pretty scary, but this guy comes very highly recommended by a couple of people I know. I just don't know. I'm scared out of my wits right now. But my eating disorder and my flashbacks have been pretty difficult for the past 2 weeks or so. And I need someone to talk to so badly. I have been making some friends, but this is just stuff that normal people can't handle. Apparently, stuff that even trained therapists can't handle :( So I don't know. So if I come home tomorrow night thinking it was a disaster, at least there was no love lost. Anything better than "disastrous" will be a good sign I think and we can fly with that. I just miss Sharon. I just want her. That's all.
Please don't leave me any messages on "giving someone new a chance." Over the past year and a half, I have heard everything. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. And I just want Sharon. She is the one who knew all of us. She is the one who has all the details, and the one who had our heart & knew everything about us. She is the one we had the connection with. It was a one of a kind thing.

Posted by pilgrim at 5:38 PM | Comments (5)

May 28, 2009

Well, the 7th time was definitely NOT the charm. It was another disaster. I feel so stupid and vulnerable and I feel like such a FOOL.

Tried therapy again last night.

The guy was nice....an older guy, like a grampa...which was good because I wasn't comparing him to Sharon...he was actually KNOWLEDGEABLE about DID and eating disorders. Knew what questions to ask. He wasn't condescending, didn't treat me like I was an idiot. I started opening up to him. The stuff that I've buried for over a year that gives me such big stomach aches. Even mentioned a few things about Mae. He was easy to talk to. I felt comfortable talking to him.
I was getting excited, thinking, WOW, God's finally answering my prayers-- I'm going to finally have a good therapist to replace Sharon, cool!!

Then about 45 minutes into it, he started talking about who he was going to REFER ME OUT TO. A different therapist. I was like, "WHAT!?"
As it turns out, this was only a CONSULTATION. Which I was not told.
He said, "You weren't under the impression I was going to be your therapist were you?"
UH.... YES!
Turns out, he doesn't DO that. He only consults and refers out.
I was so shocked and felt so vulnerable and STUPID that I started to cry. Shit.
I told him I better leave, and I left.
Then I had a breakdown in the parking lot.

i'm not doing this anymore. i'm just not.
If Sharon would have just kept me, I wouldn't be going through all this mess time and time again.
If I wouldn't have screwed up so bad by WHATEVER it was I did that was so bad, Sharon would have kept me on as a client. I'm so sorry for whatever I did wrong.... I wish I could tell Sharon. I wish I could tell her how much I've changed...how hard I'm trying. I wish she would take me back. My heart hurts so bad. I miss her so much. All that stuff from therapy that we were working on, all those plates we had spinning in the air-- SHE just got to dump me and forget about it all, but all that stuff just got left raw and open for me. I just feel so sick inside.
I just want to give up. I hate all this.

Posted by pilgrim at 7:47 AM | Comments (1)