Anniversary

I guess I am having a harder time and wanting to isolate more. This week would have been the "anniversary" of starting therapy with Sharon. Having a hard time with it.Anniversaries of all sorts have always been a big deal to us. Missing her more. Words can't express how much we miss talking to her, miss her hugs, her insight, the comfort of her office and her safety, joking around with her, talking to her about our life. Mae keeps wanting to call her and write her. On occassion when we do e-mail her she does not respond. So its like we're being ignored. Rejection is just hard. I don't blame Sharon. I get it. We screwed up, and she got sick of us. I get it. So we have to "pay" for it, or she's punishing us by ignoring us, or whatever. But I wish so much we could just talk to her... just a little. It hurts so much to just be what feels like "banished" for her life. We loved her so much, and she supposedly cared so much, but now she will have nothing to do with us, and it just hurts so much that words can't express it.
It gives me stomach aches and Mae cries at night often still. I try so hard to not think about it. Whenever I start thinking about Sharon and what happened, I try to start thinking about God and things God has done for me. I try to pray instead, and things like that. I hope that sometime soon I will overcome my stupid thoughts.

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