Its been 5 months

...and I still miss her so much.
I have an ache in my chest that won't go away.
My nutritionist recently decided she doesn't want to work with me either if I'm not seeing someone who doesn't work on eating disorders. The counselor I'm seeing right now is just trying to work with me on the grief of losing Sharon, my ex therapist. Trying to get me through that...which still feels impossible. I'm still not handling it well. Still not moving on. Stages of grief? I'm still stuck. There aren't stages. I'm not going anywhere. I wish so much I could talk to her. Maybe then it would help me move on.
I'm still far away from the rest of the universe.
Even right now, I'm spacing out just sitting here typing this.
My new counselor doesn't work on DID or dissociation either.
But I got tired of looking around and going through counselors who were worthless, so I settled on this gal because she's at least friendly. I don't know how long I'll stick with her because she's far away. And she's not Sharon.
No one is as helpful or has the compassion or knowledge that Sharon had.
No one is able to help us like she did. People can say what they want to about Sharon. What she was doing was helping, and she was 1 person in my life who was nice to me every week and showed me some compassion and listened to me. That was all I needed.

I'm still looking for a new job.
The other day I got injured at work pretty bad so that motivates me even more to find someplace else to work. I'm still waiting and praying and waiting and praying for God to do something good in my life. The Bible says that those who hope in the Lord will not be put to shame. And that God answers prayer. And that with God all things are possible. Those things are my only hope i have.

www.joycemeyer.com

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:

comments.gif

No. I'd love to make progress. I wish I would make more.
Why is it that the people who post as Anonymous sound so damn judgmental?

i'm not sure if you ever did this but if you haven't i really wish you would.

please have your husband contact sharon and explain to her that after 5 months you are not moving on and she has a professional obligation to help you.

as a doctor, she took an oath to do no harm and she needs to understand that her actions have caused substantial harm.

if your husband won't do this then have your new counselor do it.

it's time that someone steps in on your behalf. enough is enough.

Actually, Jax, Sharon has no obligation to help her once she has released her as a patient. Sharon did abide by do no harm by sending her to someone else because she felt she couldn't help her anymore. I think contacting her, emailing her, and in any way having anything to do with her only perpetuates the situation and keeps Pilgrim from healing. Healing WILL come.

Stephanie did this to me. She dumped me and she had no obligation whatsoever to help me. What Stephanie did to me was illegal and yet I had NO legal recourse.

A therapist-client relationship is a bond some don't really get and it is SO freaking hard to separate from a therapist...especially when it's sudden. I understand. But when it comes down to the bare roots of it all, Sharon did what she felt was best to help Pilgrim, not hurt her. Ultimately, Pilgrim has to help herself.

From my point of view...and considering all that has happened...I think you're doing incredibly well. Don't give up.

Wow, anonymous, you know for a FACT that I don't reciprocate? So obviously you know for a fact that I don't send e-mails to anyone who e-mails me from this site, or that I don't spend time with people from work, never return phone calls... wow, you're so omniscient.
I want IN PERSON friends to hang out with. THATS what I'm talking about.

Jax, thanks for sharing the poem.

By the way anonymous, your comments are now filtered as junk here since youre one of the former members of AMJ who has been deleted there, your comments are no longer needed on this site either.




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