Trying to find a grief support group
Things are still going around here. I'm really working my butt off to get through some interesting days. Trying really hard to leave the old me and my past behind.
Someone I really cared a lot about died the other day.
Wednesday afternoon I made a BUNCH of phone calls to churches and other groups trying to find a grief support group. Out of all the messages, I got 2 places that called me back. One group was just ending, and 1 was just beginning.
Since 1 was just beginning, the lady said they'd be happy to have me join their grief group-- I was so relieved. I have SOOOO much grief work to do. I've lost quite a lot of friends in car accidents, to suicides, and I've lost many family members through death. Also I have lost relationships with friends suddenly, and then of course my therapist which has just torn me apart; then my friend died the other day. So I was so relieved to find a group I could FINALLY get support. Even when I was in a trauma hospital, I never had the chance to deal with all the deaths, suicides, and losses I've been through-- and I think THAT is a great big part of all my depression and eating disorder problem.
Was supposed to meet on Sunday.
Saturday night, the lady called me up.
Said to not come-- they decided not to let me in.
(??????) WHO decided?
My grief isn't big enough.
(??????) Is there a ruler to measure that?
Because they have people in their group with have lost children to suicide, women who have lost husbands.
I've just lost relationships and friends.
.....not big enough grief.
They don't want me.
(jerks)
(why can't I ever be good enough for ANY PLACE? ANYONE?)
It bugs me because I want SO MUCH to work through some of these things-- I want to get through these issues and GET BETTER-- especially the really hard stuff-- I AM SO DAMN WILLING TO WORK HARD.
Why can't I find someone to do it with? Someone to stick with me all the way to the end?
(what's wrong with me?)
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
Pilgrim
You are right. Grief cannot be measured.
How can anyone measure tears?
Hope you find a better and more welcoming group soon having made your decision to join one.
Haven't read your last post 'want to dance' yet - as time very limited at present - but that sounds great too! I LOVE dancing ;-)
Anna
As if grief could be measured, and thus compared!
I don't understand people like this. I'm so sorry this happened to you when you deserve so much better.
Just wondering but have you ever checked into a DBT group?
Kindy
You can't compare losing a therapist to someone losing a child to SUICIDE. Hello!
seriously anonymous, you have no way of judging how keenly someone feels the losses they have suffered in their life and how that may or may not have compounded with time and other traumas they may have had.
stop being a dickhead and keep your thoughts to yourself. contrary to what you may believe , your comments are not helpful, they are hurtful.
Hi Pilgrim,
It is very sad how you were treated. I know it hurts because I often find myself treated in a very similar way by others. There is just no excuse for it.
Let's hope things improve in the future.
Simon
I can't belive it!
This lady is sooo mean.
No loss is "bigger" than another.
Makes me think of the people who could not understant my sadness when my 16year-old cat died. I KNOW it's "just a pet" but he was like my best friend.
I hope you will find some group to help.
I never was a big "religious" type but seeing how it seems to help you, I found myself "talking" to God a lot more these days so thanks for that.
Don't worry, I'm sure you will find the perfect group, full of nice persons