i just don't want to be anywhere
Its our job to look happy and cheerful all the time so no one complains about us and don't make anyone mad. So we HAVE to keep a smile on our face. But really i just don't want to be anywhere. i wish I could call my therapist so bad. i'm so afraid to bother her. i'm afraid she hates me. i'm afraid she's going to dump me now. she wasn't mad on thursday night and she said i didn't do anything wrong, but now she's going to have until thursday to decide to get mad and decide she wants to get rid of me. i wish i could just talk to her. but i don't think she cares. i know she won't call or check up on me or anything. i just don't matter to her. i wish i could disappear. i'm having a hard time eating. i have to force myself to do anything. i can't remember what i've been doing all day. i don't care if I don't eat and i don't care if i lose weight. i want to be smaller and not take up so much space. i just want to talk to my therapist and see if everything's ok. right now i'm terrified of her. i don't trust her right now. i don't trust anyone right now. i want to just disappear in this foggy haze and go away.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
NO KIDDING.
How about severe depression that I am on several medications for for the past 12 years? And I've tried natural remedies, thanks.
Sorry. Bad mood. And just slammed my finger in something and in extreme pain.
You deserve to be, you are human and precious and the universe loves you. I know you can be kind to yourself.
Hi Pilgrim,
I am a mom to three beautiful boys and am married to a wonderful man.
I just wanted you to know that after reading your entire website, I want you to know that there are loving, decent, caring and healthy-non-toxic people out there in the world that are safe to be with. I want you to know that as a mother myself, I tell my children each and everyday how loved they are and how special they are to my husband and I. I hug them and hold them close and tell them that I am so lucky to have them in my life. I am a safe person for them to turn to who would never hurt them(intentionally) or betray them. I send you that same peace, hope, kindness,love, serenity and strength to find your true self and let her shine bright for all to see!
I know you are going to find your way and I will keep you in my prayers and in my heart. Hang in there Pilgrim, you are a shining beacon in a often time dark world for so many lost souls. I send you a safe-mom hug and comforting words that you are worthy and have SO much to offer.
Thank you for your bravery and your fighting spirit. You are a survivor. God bless you sweetie. You are loved.
I'm so proud of you!
Sue
Hi!
Sorry to hear you don't feel so good...
I just wanted to say hi!
And BTW it seems I can't read your blog that is on another website...strange the site don't load anymore
I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time right now. I'm also sorry that you don't trust your therapist. But do you not trust because of something your T has done or because of your fear?
This is a rather upsetting post. Perhaps you have a bit of depression that you should talk to someone about?
Your Natural Remedies