We still beat ourselves up over trying to figure out when and where everything went wrong. There were a lot of blackouts back then. A lot of lost time. Most of the time, we didn't know what each other was doing. If someone said something that upset us, we'd go cut or purge or not eat for the rest of the day. Who wants to be friends with someone so... upsettable?

The new friends, all the teachers at school, have NO CLUE that we are a "we". They have no idea about DID, or about the eating disorder, or cutting. We still do the same things sometimes (cutting, purging, not eating) if we get upset, but its FAR less often. The thing is, we used to be open about it. Sometimes our friends would find out. Now we don't tell anybody. We've gotten much better about hiding it, even from our therapist. No one knows anymore.
We don't trust people anymore. The last best friend we had anymore, we had made the decision to trust, I feel like a fool for that.. After what happened with that, we decided its just better to not trust people anymore. Its just not safe for people to know who we are.

You know that whole "people should just be able to accept you for who you are"? thing.
That is only okay if you are a normal, happy, non-freak person to begin with. If you are a cutting, DID, asperbergers', anorexic person like us, then the whole idea needs to be thrown out the window. If we want to have friends, we have to hide who we really are so people will like us.