i just want to scream.
I just want to scream because I am so frustrated.
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a107/EveryoneInside/iscream.jpg
its like nothing i say to people matters.
i am so lonely and i have no real friends, no one who knows anything about me. Carolineine is the one that everyone likes, that everyone gets along with, that everyone sees.
i can't do anything to help anyone.
my sister is the most beautiful person in the world and she's miserable and i'm helpless to do anything about it and that makes me feel like shit.
i miss my old friends. I talked about them in therapy the other day. my therapist is convinced that the things that happened with them, one in particular, were not completely my fault. since she knew that group of friends, I'm sure she's probably telling the truth, but I still feel like everything IS/WAS my fault. And no matter who's fault it was, either way I am lonely and miss them. Funny how you can miss people that you hate so much now. I hate the people who left Mae and hurt her so much. They probably have no idea how bad they hurt her, and they probably were clueless that they even did. there were the "friends" too who called us demon posessed and insisted that Mae was a demon, and the one who promised to be friends forever and that they'd always be there for us.... nobody is left. Some people have said to me that "it says more about them" than it does about us. I don't know. It feels like everything is all my fault.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
we see you ... and we hear you too ... thanks for vocalizing ...
i know you don't know us, but we have DID too and we are starting to get connected with other people ...
we have been coming by for a while now and know that you are all in our thoughts ...
Barbra age 8 was told she was a demon, too. That man was totally ignorant of DID and didn't want to learn. We are lonely, too. This is Susan, btw.
Some people have said to me that "it says more about them" and we would agree with that very much!
that is so hurtful when people do that, it is not your fault!
peace and blessings
keepers
It is not the same thing as a real life friend, jo. But, there are a lot of people on your website for whom you are a very special person. People who like you for who you are. People who are grateful that you exist.
by the way, that was me, jo.