I knew I had that one coming....
On Monday I went to see my dietician. She is really great. But she's been wanting us to keep track of EVERY single thing we eat for the past week and write it down. This is our 2nd attempt at this task (the last time failed miserably.) So on Monday she went over all of this with me. Apparently, even though I tried to pay attention, everyone inside was still telling her things that they were eating that were not written down on the food records. This, of course, is very frustrating to her. I didn't know what to say, except that honestly, I wasn't really around at all until the moment when she called me into her office and that's why I didn't really know what was going on all week. I admitted that I KNEW I'd know more if I was around more and paying attention. I saw THAT look in her eye that she was going to give me a lecture about being present more so I would know what everyone was doing. I just didn't want to hear it right then as I was already feeling guilty enough for not filling all the food reports out right. Told her to save the lecture, I knew I'd get it on Tuesday from my therapist, and from everyone inside. I hear it all the time anyway.
I know, I know-- I complain about not knowing what's going on, but I don't know what's going on because I don't put forth the effort to be around and be present when someone else is at the front. I know, I know.
I could feel my ears burning on Monday night.
Tuesday we went to therapy. I think Mae talked for a while... and Jo. I'm not sure what order. Then my T wanted to talk to ME. AAAGGGHH.
I already knew what I was in for.THE LECTURE ON PILGRIM YOU NEED TO BE AROUND MORE AND STOP DISSOCIATING SO MUCH AND YOU NEED TO BE AROUND IN YOUR LIFE AND STOP DISAPPEARING.
And I hate that look she gets in her eye! Especially when she crosses her arms and gets that grin on her face and leans back in her chair. I think I hid under a pillow crying inside to Carolineine to SAVE ME!! NOW!! "OH LORD I ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOURE GOING TO SAY! DONT YELL AT ME!!!" I told my T. " I ALREADY KNOW WHATS COMING" I HATE it when she gets that mischievous LOOK, "Oh yes you sure DO." She didn't yell (I almost wish she would yell... it'd be easier to take than her being nice, you know?)
I wonder if my dietician even waited for me to leave the PARKING LOT before she waited to call my therapist. I swear, they are in cahoots. :-p
Well at least I know they care.
And guess what, I have to go back in 2 weeks to my dietician, and do the whole food report thing all over again. Not just for 1 week this time, but for 2. I dont even know HOW I'm going to manage that. I could barely get 1 week done.
I TRY to stay organized. And not lose my papers. And remember everything. I dont want the job. Carolineine is so much better at it. What's so wrong with Carolineine having the job of memory keeper/organizer if SHE is the one who is good at it? Why do I have to be the one who stays present when Carolineine is much better at it, and it comes to her naturally?
hmph.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
Hey that's a good idea!
You could put those cute little color-coded dots on your foods. If someone eats something, they have to put a dot in the food journal. No writing even. They come in a billion colors.
I might even do this. It does sound a little silly, but wouldn't it make things simpler?
I'm glad your T and dietician are both watching out for you. They really care about you. And that's a darn nice thing to have.
Love
Your Sis
Pilgrim, I was considering your dilemma and thought of the following. Disregard it totally if it's not do-able or it's stupid sounding. Would it be possible to put sticky notes on each food item? Each person would put his/her initials on the sticky note whenever (s)he eats something. Then, all
(s)he would have to do is put
the sticky note on a poster board (with the days of the week on it) under the right day. Do with this suggestion what you wish. It's just an idea and I'm well aware that it could be dumb. But, at any rate, I hope you are able to do what you need to do. Good luck.