Emotional upheaval
I am going crazy . I got barely any sleep last night . I couldn't shut my brain off when I woke up in the middle of the night-- too much talking in my head. So when it was time to get up today I was already just exhausted. I couldn't manage to eat today much so I felt sick to my stomach.Then this afternoon at school, I spent 2 hours doing report cards on a program on my computer and kept saving everything...then when I went to print the report cards out for all my kids, it was oddly enough,printing them all BLANK. .... I went back into the program, and found ALL the report cards (and my 2 hours of work) all ERASED. This was at the very end of the day. Report cards need to be turned in 1st thing Monday morning. I felt like I was going to have a stroke because I have to do all that work over again.
There are also several other things going on at home that I just can't deal with right now. Too much. Tonight my husband got mad at me for about the 3rd time today and I felt like a total idiot who can't do a thing right. It was just too much. I went into another room where I hide because I couldn't keep tears from coming. Yet again. I feel like I've been crying every time I'm alone today. I was trying hard to not cry tonight and kept telling the tears to just go away. Thankfully Mae just came and took over-- I felt her coming and I just let her. She got her letter writing tablet and started practicing her ABC's. Its just better if I be invisible. I can't handle the things that are going on, and I'm so tired of feeling stupid, retarded, and worthless. Between report cards being erased and not getting things just the way my husband wants them at home, I'd rather just be invisible.
Pilgrim
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
