I didn't make it :(
I got a phone call tonight... I didn't make it into the trauma group that I got interviewed for last Friday.
They think it isn't the right time or something . "Maybe" next time, in 6 months (right in the middle of the school year) . I wanted to get in so bad. I wanted to be in their group. I wanted so much to have a place to talk to people about the things that happened. I wanted so much to meet some people that I had something in common with. Find someone to talk to. I wanted SO MUCH to be able to talk.
I feel like such a total reject. Like NOBODY wants me. Not even people at a stupid trauma group with a bunch of other messed up people. :(
i feel so stupid. Like I got kicked in the stomach.
it would have been good for me. i wanted to go so bad.
i hope my therapist isn't mad at me. she is the one who wanted me in this group. i hope she doesn't get mad at me that they don't want me. i didn't know what to say last week. i didn't know what to do or what to think.
i am SO alone.
jo.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
I'm sorry you're not going to be in that trauma group this summer. I can relate to feeling like a total reject--I still really struggle with that. And there are still days when I think nobody wants me...except my husband (then I wonder, "What's wrong with HIM?")
But, you know what? I want you...to be a part of a blog carnival I'm organizing. It's easy. You just provide a link to a post you've already got up (or you could write a new one if you want to). Would you consider going to my blog to check out the details? No pressure, but it might be a way to connect with others. There are some really caring people out there. And many of us really care about ending child abuse--we can raise awareness about it together. Think about it. Thanks!
hi pilgrim. i've been reading your journal for a while now. i'm from toronto, canada. i've wanted to comment many times but this time i really just wanted to say that i'm sorry. i'm sorry that your team didn't get accepted into this group. i'm sorry that your therapist didn't prepare you all for this possibility. she should have. all of you are such wonderful writers. i know that some of you probably don't see this but it's true. you all show strength and honesty in your efforts to grow and live a cohesive life. what "the real me" wrote above is so true .. it's most definitely not you .. if this is a group of traumatized people it's likely that the group leader doesn't feel that bringing someone in with DID will be helpful to the others already in the group. going through traumas, as you know, is a fine balance and even the slightest changes can set even the most stable people reeling. keep trying and enjoy your summer!
I am sooo sorry you didn't get in the group. Please remember, though, that it's not a rejection of you as a person, but more likely not a good fit for right now. You know how group dynamics are. And, the door is still open for you. Maybe the next group will be a better fit. That said, I am sorry for the disappointment and discouragement you are feeling. I hope your T can find some other group that can meet your needs for the summer. Please realize that for whatever reason, this group is missing out! You would have been a great addition! Their loss. The Real Me