Meal plan and losing my mind

Well THAT didn't go well.

I love my nutritionist. I've been seeing her for years. We usually joke around and laugh a lot and look at pictures and stuff. My T used to work in the same office suite as her, where we also had group, and there are other therapists. But then last fall my T moved out and made her own office closer to home. Well I haven't been back to those offices since my T left.
And I went back tonight to see my Nut.
And I saw my T's old office, where someone new is now. And I cried and cried and cried. So many old and good and bad and good and hard memories and I just cried through my whole N appt. About how I miss T being there. How things were better then. My Nut. misses T being there too-- they are friends but now they don't get to see each other every day like they used to.
So I spend my appointment sniveling. I'm such a dumb ass.
Then she made up a meal plan. One I have to stick to. T is SERIOUS. She wants me to follow it. They are holding INPATIENT over my head. I think the meal plan is unreasonable and too much and I think I'm being set up for failure. Inside my head, Mae and Carolineine and Jo and Missy are yelling their various "I dont eat that!" and "I hate X food" and "Well that isn't so bad" and "If she thinks I'm eating THAT..." So I cried over that. And cried some more.
Then I ran out and left. No goodbye. Just took off down the hallway and escaped.

So its only a matter of time before my nutritionist calls my therapist and tells her how things went tonight and how I ran out crying. And now I'll probably get another lecture from my T on Tuesday, and I'm already in enough trouble already.

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under: