Denial
It ISNT denial when I tell T that those bad things didnt happen to me!!! they just happened to my body! NOT ME! My body is NOT ME. Why does she says thats denial? It bugs me so much when I just want all the bad stuff to go away, and my T just sits there and confronts me with "If nothing happened, then you wouldnt be here in my office. If nothing happened, you wouldnt dissociate. If nothing happened to you, you wouldnt have multiple personalities." AAAGH!!!! I HATE THOSE WORDS!! I Just want everything to go AWAY!
I dont want any connection to this stupid ,fat body or anything that happened to it.
Sorry... really lousy therapy tonight. I lost time, I also cant remember most of what I WAS there and saying, and I didnt get to talk about anything I needed to. Not doing so great right now.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
I found your blog this morning while searching for info for support groups. My husband's son from a previous marriage was diagnosed with DID last year. However, he denies it and thinks that I am telling lies about him to his father. It has been very emotional to say the least and though I don't want to admit it...I have handled it badly. Most of my emotions are of anger and resentment due to one or two of his alters that are irresponsible and selfish. I have to do something to help him as well as myself. He is presently living with us while he awaits entering into the Air Force in April. My husbands thinks that the Air Force with correct his son's issues, but I feel it will only force him into one of his personalities, but eventually the others will surface. He is not in therapy anymore nor does he believe he needs it. Sorry for the venting...I have just enjoyed your blog. I am only finished with your first month (June 2004), but will continue to read and hopefully learn more. Thanks so much. Janis
Pilgrim--
I've been following your diary for a few weeks now (and have read all the archives) and just wanted to let you know that you are an impressive, intelligent, and beautiful person. All of you.
Just my 2 cents.
I hate when I don't get to talk about what I need to in a T session. I often leave and feel like I don't know what to do with myself or how to manage anything. It's very unsettling. ((Pilgrim)) Thinking of you.