a feeling of unreality

This is such a strange day. i am so, so dissociated and i cant get grounded no matter what . I have had such a weird day.my brain is all scattered, i c ant get grounded. i tried taking a nap, i tried a few ways of growdning miself. My friend is trying to talk to me, She says it sounds like Mae is around too, but I swear this is Pilgrim and not Mae.
and i no this looks like Mae's writing but this is me writing and I can't seem to help it because i am so far away down a tunnel that I cant cjonttrol my fingers or my body.
i tihnk my husband is mad at me i think he is frustrated. he said you eat what you want to eat, i'm not going to tell you what to eat anymore. i am not sure what i did wrong, i think i must have done something wrong last night, except that I cant remember ANYTHING from last night
and this morning he snapped at me. i dont know what for. i was so far away inside that i couldn't understand his words, i just heard the tone of his voice. Then i had pr o blems understanding at church and ... this is such a frustrating day.
i want to hide ferom everythhing including myaself. i am sick of other inside peo eple tak=ing over my bod y and doing things i dont knw about.\ it feels like i
a m ffrozen inside my bod yand cant get out b ecaues i am too far away from the oustide.
i wish i could call my therapist to tel l her what is going on because mayhbe you d have some ideas. i and somentihng realy is not rite here inside me today.
It feels like Mae is a bout to scream her head off. but i dont know why. theres nothing even wrong.

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:

1. Posted by Judy on October 18, 2005

2. Posted by Heavens_daughter on October 18, 2005