Where do I find someone to talk to?
Where DO I find someone to talk to ?
I am so frustrated with this all of the time.
My therapist is wonderful but given that she has a full schedule and a family of her own, she's got 2 sessions a week for me and that is all (and I'm lucky to have that-- I do know.) I can't get ahold of her outside of sessions anymore. There's so much to talk about, but never, never, ever enough time. So she says something that I can do to help myself is to talk to my husband and talk to my friends about what is going on with me.
So. Off I go to my husband and friends to talk to.
Problem 1. Husband isn't home much. Also, he's a therapist. He listens to peoples' problems ALL day long. When he gets home, he needs a little break. I dont want to be whining and complaining all night at him, when he's had to listen to clients all day. Second, he can't "do therapy" on family members. So while we can talk about SOME things, at a certain point he says "You need to talk to you counselor about that." AGGGH. Good boundaries for him--- yay for him. Frustration for me.
Problem 2. Friends are extremely busy and have problems of their own.
One "friend", I am not friends with anymore. Wasn't worth it. A couple friends are great online friends, but they live far away. I have a dear friend named Angie who I love to pieces, and we talk once in a while, but she's got some pretty severe problems of her own. As much as we talk about how much we'd love to live near each other and do things together, the fact remains that we live on opposite sides of the country. My sister is half the country away also, and is often too busy raising her family. She's the best friend-- but I only get to see her twice a year and we hardly ever get to talk, which I just hate, because she makes me laugh so hard and I love spending time with her. Acquaintences at work are merely that--- there is a lot about my life I feel like I CANNOT let them know because it could jeopardize my career--- what would happen if say, one of the others at work found out I had DID? Rumors FLY around schools and school districts. Mental Health Acts or not, I could still lose my job if people thought I wasn't safe to be teaching. I feel like I HAVE to keep my DID, eating disorder, and SI a secret.
So ... therapist sends me to husband and friends... husband sends me to therapist and friends.... friends are not available or just non existent. So.... where exactly do I go?
sorry... i guess i just get tired of only having inside people. i wish i didn't have to slip into a dissociative world to have someone to talk to. I wish so much I could be like a real person and have an actual outside person. I've been praying for a real friend since I was little. Just one. that is all-- just one. i always feel like i'm in everyone's way and unwanted. whether people mean to send that message across or not, it seems that way when weeks and weeks go by and its like i'm invisible. Or when people in my life don't bother to ask things like "How are you doing Pilgrim?" "Whats new?" "What do you think of what's going on?"
i'm going to die someday and no one's going to know what i think about anything. I guess that's why i keep this blog.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
Hi I want to be your friend. I am in a delema myself, You see i am bed ridden and have all the time in the world and i have no one to tell my secrets to. You see when people leave here its like they turn off the light switch i am forgoten. I have things top say, come on listen to me please. I am completly sane and just need. Give me a chance?
Sorry I dont have DID I have no lung and really bad bad nerve damage, so?????? What?? I cant get out of bed period!
hi!grace here. I can identify with you Your words and thoughts are mine too. Many people these days go through the same pain. A silent majority does. But knowing this isn't enough to give us comfort, sometimes it can't lessen the ache inside. it's really talking to someone who will listen, sincerely listen that wil help everytime. And I have no one to listen to me as well. Hold on.
i hop i can help every one here .. but be sure that the god will take cear of evry one of you just be pation ..sorry for all what happen to evry one its realy hard any how i have alot of time any one want to talk am her for lestining and telling him or her manny thiungs about my secret too .. god take cear of you
Hi! I am simple guy with family of my own. But I'd like to talk to you all. Alive, on mic and headphone. Just let me add you in my yahoomessenger list. calin_cucuietu@yahoo.com
i am only 15 but ive never knew that there were people who felt some of the same things i do i mean some people have even worded their feelings exactly as i would my own......i dont know who to talk to i have nobody i can trust and even if i did no one takes me seriously...some days i want to curl up and die and others i just want to run away i have a friend who commited suicide in september 2008 and thats when all my problems started i dont know who to go to i dont have anyone who will listen and i dont want to end up like him if all this gets worse...he hurt so many people
I want to tell someone....but I want to tell someone that will really listen and HEAR me...I want them to be able to listen to the fact that I hate every single day I awake to. I want to leave. I want to go anywhere but here, I have failed at so much and I am broken and tired and I cannot find any strength to make myself care about anything. I can only say that I pray everyday....I pray with expectation of a miracle because that is the only thing now that will save me. I love my husband, children, father, mother, brother, sister, but there is never the right kind of love to heal these deep wounds of self hatred and confusion. whatever