Moving again

Things are going better this week. Last week, things were so hard that we could barely breathe or sleep.
But this week, things are going so much better.
Its been a little difficult though because my therapist is moving to a new office. Today was the last appointment in her current office, and that was hard. I'm not sure exactly what went on, because I was so dissociated. One of the kids was there the whole time, and I can picture my body laying on the floor playing with some toys... something about... hating having to move all the time. All my life, we've had to move a lot. Always on the move. Always going from one place to another. Military family. Just get settled in one house, and its time to move to another. New schools, always being the new kid, always packing up boxes. Sometimes it felt like it wasn't even worth it to unpack. After a while, I actually did start to leave things in their boxes. As a child, I never was allowed to really be sad about moving. It was always "we're moving, hurry up, pack up, lets go, I mean it, hurry up!" Hardly ever got to say goodbyes. It was always so hard. Left so many people, so many rooms, so many houses behind.

But today, its ok to be sad. And that helps so much.
We've been talking, about my therapist moving her office again. She's moved before. Each time its been a little scary. But each time it has worked out ok. There is something really nice about each new office, even though we miss the old offices too. Her new office isn't going to be as big, but there's a window that you can see a tree growing in the yard.
Being allowed to feel sad, and having the chance to talk about the move, has helped a lot. Not being told to "just get over it", being allowed to just sit and be sad, and talk to my therapist and hear about how she is a little sad about moving offices too, that has helped immensely.
So, we're even looking forward to a new office a little bit. Interesting how, being allowed to feel a feeling, we can feel it and move on to something else. Never had that before.

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under: