FRUSTRATION!
I'm just venting so that I don't go cutting or purging is all.
This is just me and this is disheartening. I just got another bill from _____ the hospital I was in back in May. They want another $907 for treatment. Do I have $907? No. And my paycheck was $1,000 short last month because I was inpatient. I already owe a $1,097 bill somewhere else this month on top of my regular bills.This makes me think I AM NEVER GOING INPATIENT AGAIN NO MATTER HOW BADLY I NEED IT. DAMMIT. I HATE MONEY. Plus my dog needs surgery. I know I took this summer off from working to work just on recovery, but right about now I sure am re-thinking that decision. I dont know if I did the right thing or not. It sure has been good to have lots of time to rest, and time to do lots of reading on recovery stuff, and lots of time to do writing and artwork... and a little cold hard cash would be helpful about now too.
Carolineine keeps saying "oh, the Lord will provide". Thats what Carolineine Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie is always saying. Uh-hm. I sure hope so. My stomach really hurts. I wish I could have the freedom to go back to the hospital just because everyone inside needs it so much... I wish money didn't get in the way. I am out of things to sell on Ebay. *end of whining*
What I feel like doing is cutting, purging, and exercising until I fall down. Thanks to all this recovery work, I guess what I will choose to do is sit and read more and write more until my hands practically fall off and my eyeballs go blind. *yay for recovery*
Missy is REALLY giving me a hard time for ever going inpatient in the 1st place... sorry for all the sarcasm.She's standing there with her arms on her hips quoting stuff from dad. I'm frustrated at my lack of funds. She is just generally mad at ME. I'm not real happy with myself or any parts of me at the moment either. It feels like I have things exploding inside my head. If Carolineine comes around right now and tries to make nice, Missy may have to kill her.
*OK* ... deep breath. Thanks for letting me whine & vent. I'm going to go escape now either inside or take a nap and disappear, because I don't want to handle all this.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
Hey you could make and sell more beautiful boxes like you made for me....
But that's not big $, like what you need. Do you & ___ have equity in your home? Can you take out a 2nd mortgage? What about credit cards...I believe in limiting spending to what we can afford, yet credit cards are just what we need in medical emergencies.
I'd hate for you to stay away from inpatient if you need it. I'd bet your ed, did, & mentor /peer group will help alot and you may not feel the need to be IP again now. And ____'s working now, and working alot, what about that? you are married and he should contribute to your expenses.
Just my 2 cents.
Love, Judy
I agree with Judy. ____ should contribute more. You always say that he "can't" but is that the full story? Is he really giving all that he can or are you just excusing him?
Also, you have such a knack for making beautiful things. You really could sell jewelry or your boxes on E-Bay. You really have an eye for that kind of stuff. Think about it. Because I really think you could do it.
Oh, and just because Caroline Ingalls believed that God would provide didn't mean that they wouldn't have struggles. Remember when Carrie found the penny under her bed? And Ma wished she had a penny too? And then Pa had to go work at blasting mines to make money. I guess what I'm trying to say is that God will make the way, we just have to follow it.
Trust your instincts and your talent. There is so much that you could do. I'm here for ideas if you want.
Love,
Your Sis
have u ever thought of making jewelry or something to sell? i make jewelry and sell it to friends and neighbors. i buy silver beads online and make silver necklaces and bracelets. its fun and takes my mind off other stuff too.