Tired out
I am really tired out right now. All of this stuff is going on and on inside my head, over and over. I am doing a lot of thinking.
I am very anxious to get to my session next week and talk things over with S. When I do talk to her about things we've been thinking about though I'm going to tell her to not just take our word for it that we plan to change now. We want to prove it first to her and to ourselves, because things are easier said than done. Since yesterday when we realized that she isn't our tormentor or our mom or dad or ex boyfriend ... that we're not her victim... it feels different somehow. Like now we can take a step back and let her help and trust what she says. It feels different... almost a little freeing.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under: Migraines
Pilgrim,
I just wanted to apologize for posting that comment SO many times! It kept telling me that it wasn't working, so I kept trying, and it ended up leaving it over and over again! So, anyway, I'm sorry!
Pilgrim-
Don't worry, I promise your secret is safe with me. I hope you're having a good day today. =)
That is an awesome realization about S. I think I thought that about B over and over again, secretly, in my head, and that's really why I didn't go back to her. I secretly thought in my head that I was just waiting for her to attack me, or criticize me, or call me crazy. But she would have never done that. I wonder how long it would have taken me to open up to her had I just realized this. Bummer.
I know that you can trust S. REALLY trust her. I really like talking to her the times that she called me. She isn't anyone else you have ever known...she's S. And she wants to help. That's her only motive...to help. Isn't that weird? I mean, to not have to live with someone having an ulterior motive. She ISN'T waiting to pounce on you. She's waiting for the chace to help you. REALLY help you. And that is a great thing to have.
Love,
Your Sis
Pilgrim,
Hello! Thank you for the kind words about my cat. She is at a good veterinarian hospital right now with my dad. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they can make her healthy again. I'm glad my comments are fixed now. I received both of yours. You are one of the kindest people I have ever communicated with. You seem like you have a lot of compassion, as do I. =) I understand what you said about seeing a doctor before it gets worse...and sometimes I want to do that, but then I worry that I'm making a big deal out of nothing, you know? I'm horrible at making decisions. Tracy sent me the message with your e-mail address in it that you wrote, but I don't know whether to use the Yahoo address or the AOL address. Which would you prefer I send you e-mails to? I'd love to hear more about you, like what music you like and such things. Do you have AOL or MSN messengers?
On another note, I'm so glad to hear that you have all realized that your therapist is not trying to hurt you, but help you. It's great to hear that you feel free. Freedom is one of the most beautiful things in the world. =) I'm sorry this comment is so lengthy! But, hey...I know everyone loves getting comments! Have a wonderful day, Pilgrim.