Using different names at age 12
I just realized something on my own (this is pilgrim), even though the one who calls herself nobody told this to my therapist the other day, i didn't realize it was true...but now I have my own memory of it, and i realize she was telling the truth. oh my gosh. i feel so strange.
When I was in 7th and 8th grade, I had a best friend I'll call Hannah. She had a hard time dealing with me a lot of the time. She didn't like my "mood swings"... she had a hard time handling all the different people I seemed to be. (now that I realize how tough this must have been on her to deal with at 12 years old, I almost feel bad for her).
I can remember now how she used to write me notes... and she would write them to: "[my name]/Missy/ Jo"....oh my gosh. i remember how she called me Jo sometimes. People made fun of me at school sometimes because it was because a tv show I liked had someone named Jo on it... but that was not it at ALL...
already the personalities of nobody(jo) and Missy were there.
ohmygoshohmygosh
Hannah often had to deal with things she didn't know how to handle. Sometimes I was mean, bossing her around (hello, can you say Missy?), I refused to talk at school for a year..
i just realized
oh, man.
nevermind.
something else happened in 8th grade too that screwed me up inside. a boy at school.
made me go inside farther.
like i'm going to do right now.
:(
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
I understand what you mean.
I love this website
When I was twelve I was chubby and awcard,It was horrible,this girl kept calling me chicken shit,it was so embarrassing.When I got older I lost a great deal of weight,I became a much more attractive person but I never got over those feelings of pain and humiliatian I felt in those days.Im steal haunted by those days when I was such a loser,when the kids laughed at me,I still cant get over it.Later I became very mean and angry to other kids to make myself feel better and I feel horrible for this,I feel a great deal of guilt for how I behaved.I was so insecure I just wanted others to feel the way I felt,I feel just horrible for the way I behaved.