Dear Pilgrim and all,I understand that it is a very scary road to try to uncover hidden memories and that as the memories come back it can be overwhelming and I think that's the dam that you are afraid is going to break. Practice your safety plans and routines when you are scared. Write here, or on AMJ or email a friend (even me).The pressure of going back to teaching, the pressure of your therapy as it progresses, the pressure of everyone inside wanting to talk and wanting to do their things when you have to work and take care of life.......all of this is I'm very sure overwhelming.When I get overwhelmed, I often take a nap, covering my head with the blanket, and at 41, hugging a stuffed baby leopard that my stepdaughter gave my husband this summer. It feels so good to hug a fuzzy cuddly again. Since I've been a grown up, I usually have a small pillow to put my arm on, to relieve pain, but now I have the pillow and Osiris, the leopard. Luckily my husband thinks it's cute. (Little does he know how much that Osiris helps!)I know that hiding in a nap cuddling a stuffy critter will not get things done that need to be done, nor will it resolve any problems that are causing stress. And, I still nap/hide and somehow some things are clearer or less scary to me when I awaken.BTW I hope it was ok for me to write Nobody regarding her posts in the last couple of days. I felt maybe you needed for her to hear some encouraging supportive words.Big hugs, Sweet Pilgrim, Judy

Dear Pilgrim and all,I understand that it is a very scary road to try to uncover hidden memories and that as the memories come back it can be overwhelming and I think that's the dam that you are afraid is going to break. Practice your safety plans and routines when you are scared. Write here, or on AMJ or email a friend (even me).The pressure of going back to teaching, the pressure of your therapy as it progresses, the pressure of everyone inside wanting to talk and wanting to do their things when you have to work and take care of life.......all of this is I'm very sure overwhelming.When I get overwhelmed, I often take a nap, covering my head with the blanket, and at 41, hugging a stuffed baby leopard that my stepdaughter gave my husband this summer. It feels so good to hug a fuzzy cuddly again. Since I've been a grown up, I usually have a small pillow to put my arm on, to relieve pain, but now I have the pillow and Osiris, the leopard. Luckily my husband thinks it's cute. (Little does he know how much that Osiris helps!)I know that hiding in a nap cuddling a stuffy critter will not get things done that need to be done, nor will it resolve any problems that are causing stress. And, I still nap/hide and somehow some things are clearer or less scary to me when I awaken.BTW I hope it was ok for me to write Nobody regarding her posts in the last couple of days. I felt maybe you needed for her to hear some encouraging supportive words.Big hugs, Sweet Pilgrim, Judy

Friends,I thought I should tell you that your journal has helped me a great deal. For some reason I always thought dissociating meant DID. I knew that from my own childhood I hid quite a bit, and I myself am discovering new things I never knew happened. I did some research on dissociation and found that I do/did dissociate quite often. I never knew what it was. I do have a question if you don't mind. When there are ones that you don't talk to, how can you start a relationship with them? Please don't feel obligated to answer, I always only want to help, but never sure exactly what to say. I think all of you are brave, courageous, and all very special. I love to hear from all of you, and hear what you have to say. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.Hugs,Heather